I am 18 years old and I am not entirely sure where I am at in my life. This age is full of inconsistent expectations of who I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to do. I am a legal adult, but what does that even mean?

"Act your age."

I am 18 years old and I can live on my own. If they wanted to, my parents could kick me out of the house. I could find my own place to live. I could also serve my country. I could be sent to the other side of the world and hold deadly weapons in my hand. I am deemed mature enough to vote for the president of my country, but not mature enough to go to a bar for a drink or rent a car.

"I thought you were older."

I am 18 years old and my parents no longer have access to my medical records and grades, unless if I allow them to. Suddenly, I have found myself trying not to stress about the education I now have to pay for. I, and so many others, are juggling school, work and the sanity we are still expected to have. I have no curfew, I can roam around later than I used to be able to. I can gamble. I am old enough to get a tattoo. I can purchase tobacco and I can breathe the smoke into my lungs and feel the buzz of nicotine.

"You're so immature."

I am 18 years old and I am expected to do something with my life. I graduated high school, then moved quickly towards the next chapter. One moment I was completing my graduation requirements for high school, next I am racing to keep up with my peers. Sometimes I am told I am told that I am way ahead of my peers. I know this isn't true. I feel crushed under the weight of the mixed signals. I am told I am an adult and I am still a child in nearly the same sentence. 18 years of age is an oxymoron. You only have as much freedom as you believe you have.

"You have an old soul."

At 18 years old, my heart is full of desire for purpose and hunger for experience. I am caught somewhere in between child and adult. I am not entirely sure what I am doing with my life, but I am working on figuring it out