As the sun continues to beam down, the summer season is coming to an end. Stores begin to replace summer items with back to school merchandise. The routine I have been living for 12 years has come to an end, and if I'm going to be honest these back to school supplies scare the hell out of me.
Yes, I'm scared. I have been complaining for four years about how badly I wanted to leave. I wanted to leave this town so desperately and now here I am clinging onto my bed. I don't know what to expect as an incoming freshman. I don't know what college will have to offer. Although, that's what I'm most excited for.
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Yes, I'm also excited. The combination of these two emotions is possibly the best feeling ever. I can't cling onto my bed for the rest of my life, as much as I would love to. Moving into a new town and not knowing a single person sounds like a perfect adventure to me.
It's time for a fresh start.
The idea of college is starting over, I can walk onto campus and be who I want to be. No one can bring up who I was in the past because they wouldn't know me, and it wouldn't matter either. I'm ready for the type of people I'm about to meet, and I'm ready for the type of offerings the world has to offer. It's time to put myself out there and build a profile.
College is for me or maybe it won't be for me, and that's the idea behind it. I have to go figure it out and hopefully become who I want to be as a person. The idea of moving away sounds cool and all but obviously not seeing family every day hurts. The possibility of hometown friends going their own way also hurts. The fact that I'm about to head into a long distance relationship hurts. But the idea of holding onto people and the past could hurt more in the long run. Those who matter the most will always be there. Everything will work out in the end.
I'm scared and excited. Will college hit me hard in the face? Maybe, but hey, that's life right?
So here's to starting over and finding a new path. Here's to the amount of work and tears that are about to happen. Here's to heading into open and closed doors. Here's to a new beginning.
