Recently I've started to consider the fact, am I missing out on a full life because I'm a virgin? The start of my sophomore year, both of my best friends began relationships, which are both still going strong and steady. I was thrilled for them, and I still am, but I sometimes couldn't help the feeling of being left out, especially when both of them lost their virginity and I didn't...and still haven't.

They didn't mean to, but when they talked about sex, they made it sound like being a virgin was just the worst thing that could possibly happen to a person, and if you hadn't lost your virginity you were basically missing out on God's gift to the world. Eventually, their constant talk about getting laid all. the. time. really started to bother me. I felt inadequate when I was with them because I was still the awkward virgin friend, 16 years old and still hadn't even gotten so much as a peck on the lips. Sadly enough, it got to a point where I just wanted to makeout and get laid with anyone, because then maybe, just maybe, I'd finally be cool enough and experienced enough to be apart of this group.

Thankfully though, I realized I had way stronger morals than to have a "quickie" to just "get it over with," because that's not what I want at all. It became clear to me that when I do lose my virginity, or even have my first kiss, I want it to be with someone who looks at me like I hold the whole universe in my hands. Maybe that's a little bit too much to ask of a person. Granted, I'm only 16 and boys my age mature at the speed of a golf tournament (slow. as. hell), but I still want it to be with someone I adore and vice versa. I've started on a path of constant self-love and spreading positivity because living in this bitter shell was doing absolutely nothing for me. Starting this relentless state of self love made me realize, just because I'm a virgin doesn't mean I haven't lived an extremely full life.

I started thinking of all the things I've done with my life, and how just because I haven't "popped my cherry" (which is not a real thing that happens, FYI), doesn't mean my life hasn't been wonderful. I've seen both of my favorite bands live with my best friend. I saw my favorite artist's piece of art in real life and also got to take a picture with it. I've seen amazing stars and meteor showers. I've petted so many dogs. I hold so many more life changing memories that have helped me understand I don't need to lose my virginity to validate my self worth.

Boys and girls are a great part of life if you're with the right one in a healthy relationship, but they are not the tool you need to live a full and exciting life. You can do and see and meet so many amazing things, places and people by yourself and loving yourself before you ever allow a boy/girl into your sacred temple. When you do finally lose your virginity it shouldn't be with someone to just "get it over with," but with someone who makes you feel special and lovely and like home, because you deserve it.