I'm currently approaching week four of my senior year of college. First off, just saying that blows my freaking mind. Let me tell you that these four weeks, have easily been the worst four weeks of my life. One thing would happen, and as soon as I picked myself back up, something else would knock me down twice as hard. This has just become a constant pattern the last couple weeks. In the beginning, I was angry. Very. Angry. And the crazy thing was I was the most angry at God.
"How dare you, God, do this to me?" or "Is this funny to you, God, because this sucks"
Once my own pride diminished, I realized how wrong I was. Don't get me wrong, it's okay to be mad. But who was I to point my finger at God? In addition, who was I to think I had nothing to be thankful for? I CLEARLY have to much to be thankful for.
Here's a brief list of things I'm thankful for:
-my family that never fails to make me feel loved
-my friends that can go through these painful periods with me
-my professors that genuinely care about me as a person
-the picture of my cat on my wall that makes me smile
-my God that never leaves me, through the good and bad times
Once I count my blessings, the tough times don't seem so tough. The long sleepless nights become a time of rest and peace. The feelings of anger and sadness turn out to be feelings of acceptance and love. Obviously, I cannot do all these things on my own. My favorite book of the Bible is Philippians. (Am I even allowed to have a favorite book?) My all time favorite verse has always been Phil. 4:6-7. "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.".... It's so often heard, especially on a small, private college, "just pray about it" or "you need to give it to God". I don't know about any of you, but THAT'S A WHOLE LOT EASIER IN THEORY. but, in all reality, it's something that I had to do these past couple weeks. As a complete control freak, this is terrifying. I'm still currently trying to learn how to give up all control. So please, if you read this far, pray that I'll be able to do this.
God's plan is much bigger than mine and yours.
And who am we to question it?
