It was like a nightmare.
It was like a horrifying and crippling nightmare, yet it was reality.
I was twelve years old. I had begun my first year of middle school, and it was getting stressful. It wasn't just a little stress, but it was reaching over-the-top. It was December, and I had project after project due, tests to study for, and homework to complete. Honestly, it was way too much for a twelve year old to have to handle, but nonetheless, I wasn't giving up. I persevered through it, and I was determined to be successful.
I don't know if it was because of all of this stress, or if something else, something seriously wrong, was taking place. Whatever the case, it was scary.
All I remember is waking up to my body slamming against the wall. With all the strength I could muster, I couldn't get up. I just kept diving forward. Into the wall ahead of me, I came. I fell. Then I tried to turn the corner and, when that was finally accomplished, I ran into the wall again. I fell to the ground again and again, crawled, and then, as I tried to walk, I would thrust my body and my head against the wall endlessly. It was like I lost all strength. It was like, as much as I tried to walk on my own, I couldn't do it. I used all of the strength I could gather, yet I would constantly fall. I was half asleep through it all, yet at the same time, my eyes were open.
Finally, I reached my parent's bedroom. They heard the loud bangs of me running endlessly into the walls, and had begun to believe that someone had broken into the house from all of the noise. But I reached the light. My appearance was very distraught, with arms waving and my body ready to collapse. But eventually, I fell face forward onto their bed, and my eyes were completely opened.
That was probably one of the scariest moments of my life, something I hope to never have to go through again. It's a scary feeling when you use all of your strength and can't stand up. When all you have left is a feeling of weakness, when all strength is gone and you're standing alone in the darkness, running endlessly into the obstacles in front of you, and never getting to where you want to be, feelings of fear and endless fatigue overtake you.
Isn't it the same way in life? We reach a point where we are completely in the dark. We can't see. We're blinded by the darkness. We've come to where we just can't keep on anymore. Crippled with anxiety and stress, all strength is gone. The obstacles are in front of us, yet as much as we try to get up and keep going, we just keep running into the walls and falling back to the ground again.
But then, we finally reach the light, where we can finally see again. It's in the light that we regain our strength, and are able to fully wake up and recover. It's in the light where we meet Jesus, the One who can lift us up in our times of weakness and carry us through whatever we are facing.
I went to the doctor the next day, and to this day, we still aren't sure what was wrong with me that night. It was decided that it was most likely a form of sleepwalking due to all of the stress I had been experiencing, but the thought of a possible seizure still remains as well.
It was a scary night. When our eyes are shielded and the darkness overwhelms us, fear can take over. When we have lost every bit of our strength, it's hard to continue going.
Friends, don't live in the darkness anymore. Reach towards the light, and Jesus will grab your hand and carry you through. He will be your strength when you have nothing left. He will be your peace in the stressful times, your hope when all hope is gone.
He's reaching out to grab your hand. Just trust Him.
So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.Isaiah 41:10
