While a trip to the hospital can be terrifying for a patient, those who visit the patients experience a different range of emotions that are disturbing in their own way. Because in a hospital, nothing is as clear as it seems.
The halls of a hospital are particularly interesting places because they seem to go on forever when you're rushing to visit a loved one, but end all too soon when your eyes finally rest on his or her room number. You want to enter the room and know how the person is doing, but you're also afraid of what you might see, because once you see it, you have to embrace the reality of the situation.
The halls of a hospital are also occupied by people in many different states of anguish. There are those whose tears won't stop and those who are so burdened by grief they lose the ability to stand. There are also those who look lost and sit with seemingly blank stares, but will jump up at a moment's notice if a doctor arrives with an update.
In the halls of a hospital, specifically in the critical care section, emotions can be empty. The laughter you hear is not wholehearted and the smiles you see are strained. The eyes you look into during a conversation may be turned your way, but the focus is never fully present. You may be standing with a relative in the waiting room, but mentally be in the hospital room with a loved one. At a glance, others may see you both as people having a normal conversation, but the truth is that you're attempting to distract each other from the weight of the situation that is constantly pressing into your mind.
In a hospital, in a place of distress and disbelief, you are waiting; you have no control. A big part of you wants to hear a positive update, but there's also a part of you that is constantly in fear of a doctor coming to tell you news, in case that news will dissolve you into tears or suck out your remaining energy. You are full of conflicting emotions, but you may attempt to hide behind a calm façade because in a hospital, nothing is as clear as it seems.
