"When sisters stand shoulder to shoulder, who stands a chance against us?"
In 1987, the Delta-Psi chapter of Phi Sigma Sigma was chartered on the University of West Florida campus. These founding sisters had high hopes to begin a legacy on campus and begin that legacy, they did. For twenty-nine years the Delta Psi chapter stood strong and from it arose a multitude of strong, independent women with their hearts set on doing their best and living their lives to the fullest.
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As I begin to write this, I’m sitting on the porch of a cabin in the middle of Ponce de Leon, Florida. Six of my sisters are sitting around a campfire, talking about the last few years they’ve spent in the sorority, though for some it was only a few short semesters. The other twelve girls who decided to bare the wild outdoors lay inside the cabin, counting sheep or whatever they dream about. Paddles from their littles and frat boys in Chubbies, I’m sure. We took this trip to spend one last weekend together. It’s the first actual sisterhood retreat I’ve been on in my two years in the sorority. It’s also my last, because, at the end of this semester, the Delta Psi chapter won’t be here.
In the fall of 2014, I decided to do something I had said for months before and after graduating from high school that I wouldn’t do. I went through sorority recruitment.
To this day, I don’t regret it. Not even now. I’ll be honest, I creeped about as hard as the creepiest creep out there on some of these sorority pages. I was following everyone on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and even Tumblr for the sororities that had it. I had become obsessed the few days before recruitment. I had my eyes set on two different sororities and even before going into the first round, I was leaning towards one more than the other. From the first informational meeting, the Beta Chis told us to have open minds. I tried.
After feeling like I just didn’t fit in with most of the sororities, my decision became harder. I remember calling my mom after the preference ceremonies and balling my eyes out. On one hand, I felt completely at home. I walked into the room and I was surrounded by women who genuinely filled me with an indescribable warmth. On another hand, the other group had a really strong presence on campus. Their letters were known across the nation and I have yet, to this day, come across a woman from this sorority who rubbed me the wrong way. But, the decision had to be made.
So, I ran home to the beautiful women of Phi Sigma Sigma that afternoon, wearing a smile that felt as if it stretched the span of the Gulf of Mexico.
Yes, Phi Sigma Sigma as a whole gave me a lot, but the Delta Psi chapter of Phi Sigma Sigma gave me so much more than I could have ever asked for. It gave me the confidence and the ability to go after more leadership roles on campus. It gave me a reason to better myself. It gave me a sisterhood that backed me through an eighty plus pound weight loss. I was gifted with an amazing big, the perfect little, fifty plus beautiful sisters and a shared vision of being the best versions of ourselves. Delta Psi gave me the ability to become someone who I could only dream of being two years ago. Despite my short time in the chapter, this is only a small fraction of what I will remember for the rest of my life.
I was one of six sisters who had the opportunity to hear our chapter’s fate firsthand. During our leadership conference, myself, my big, our president, and three other executive board members were pulled aside for a meeting and a few hours afterward, our adviser told us the final decision. After fighting for our place for years before I even came into the chapter, Delta Psi was going to be pulled from the University of West Florida campus with a possibility to recolonize in the future. I remember crying for hours. I cried during the conference meetings the next day. On the plane ride back to Pensacola. On my mom’s lap after driving home. I cried after telling the rest of e-board and bawled my eyes out when we told the rest of chapter.
Being in a position that I got to hear the news first, didn’t make it any easier. I, and the other five sisters, had to come back with straight faces, telling everyone that we couldn’t wait to share what we learned but in the end, no matter what we had learned and even if we were going to apply it, it wasn’t going to be enough to save our chapter.
After the news broke, to the sisters and the rest of campus, a lot of things began to spread. Crazy reasons as to why we were losing our charter but at the end of the day, it wasn’t because of some ridiculous or illegal reason. Simply put, it was because we just lost the battle that every sorority has to face to keep its head above water.
I grew up my entire life thinking I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t a good enough girlfriend, a good enough friend, a good enough daughter, or a good enough sister. That’s what I thought this whole thing was about. That the Delta Psi chapter wasn’t good enough. But we are. We are better than good. We were and still are amazing, powerful, outspoken women.
To my sisters as this semester ends, remember that you are enough. You are so much more than enough it’s unbelievable how enough you are. Remember that everything happens for a reason. Good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Life goes on. The friends you made while part of the Delta Psi chapter will forever be with you as long as you hold on to them. As your life progresses, you will move mountains. You will do huge things. Amazing things. It hurts now, it’s been hurting for a while now, I know. I know this whole semester has been full of heartache and hurt, but that’s not what I want you to feel when you look back on your time being in this sisterhood. Remember the good times. The nights you stayed up too late, laughed too hard and, and loved unconditionally. These are the moments you should remember for the rest of your life.
After all, once a Phi Sigma Sigma, always a Phi Sigma Sigma. Delta Psi, 'til I die.
