I did some online shopping recently on a website that was all about advocating mental health awareness. I came across this bracelet. A leather bracelet with a plate that was engraved with a quote I had never heard before: "Love me until I'm me again." So, of course, I bought it.
I don't know why it took me so long to find this quote, but I do know why I love it so much. It means to demonstrate unconditional love and acceptance towards a loved one because their mental illness does not define who they are.
A lot of people these days support mental health awareness, and this is a great thing. Unfortunately, not everyone understands it. Some people are just naïve; others just don't want to learn.
It's worse when people are aware of the circumstances when it comes to your mental illness, but still, choose to be upset with you.
It's happened to me before. I suffer from depression and I had a really bad day a few months ago. I was agitated and sad over nothing. I said things I didn't mean. I wasn't myself.
Here's the thing: I realized what I was doing was wrong. I apologized to those whose feelings I hurt. I wanted to talk it out and make everything right. I know my depression is not me.
Someone close to me didn't get this. They didn't want to talk. They didn't want to deal with me anymore. Worst of all, they literally left. They gave up. All they saw were the hurtful things I said, but didn't mean.
They saw the depression. They didn't see ME.
I was devastated. I never expected my mental illness to drive a close friend away. I blamed myself for what happened. I cried myself sick, calling myself every vulgar name under the sun, hyperventilating so badly my diaphragm hurt the next morning.
But I'm okay now. I no longer blame myself for what happened. Like I said before: my depression does not define me as a person. It's just something I have to cope with. I apologized for what I had said/done. What more could I do?
My friend and I are getting along now. Even though it's in the past, the sting still hasn't gone away. I guess it's because I never had someone give up on me. It hurt, it was terrifying, and, as dramatic as this may sound, it was traumatic.
The quote was not applied in my situation. I didn't feel loved until I was "me" again. I felt like the enemy.
I know there are a lot of people who have to deal with this every day. They are loved until a bad mental health day comes along. Then they have people angry with them and won't try to help. Conditional love at its finest.
We need to take this saying seriously. You can't proclaim your love to someone and then not be there for them when they're having a bad day. Just being nearby can be beneficial. Even if they don't want to talk about it, just having company may help.
Letting them know you're there to love and support them is sometimes all they need.
To those who suffer from mental illness, don't allow others to identify you based on your depression, anxiety, etc. Your mental illness is NOT you. If people can't see the beautiful soul behind it, then that is a statement on them and not you.
When the going gets tough, you cannot just quit on your loved one. If you don't know how to support someone with a mental illness, learn how to. Talk with your loved one and ask them what to do if a bad day arises.
Please...don't just leave.
Mental health and conditional love cannot coexist.
