Dear General Public of America,
As we approach this winter holiday season, I invite you to be mindful of the following things:
The importance of family and friends.
Your religious ideologies that make this time of year so special (if applicable); and finally,
Common human decency.
“That last bullet point is awfully strange, Ashley, why would you add that?” Because, my dear reader, as an individual with essentially only retail on her long list of job experiences, I know what it’s like to be on the other side of that counter, collecting your money and gathering your change, politely nodding as you spout off your hatred for the corporation I’m currently employed for.
General Public, we cashiers/stockers/team members have no control over the purchasing patterns across the country. No matter how much you yell at us about us “ruining your child’s Christmas” or accusing us of “false advertising;” no matter how many stabs at our intelligence you take, or how many threats you make to never shop at our place of employment again does not change the fact that the exclusive Barbie collection with a limited edition Teresa is no longer available in our stores, or at our other stores, and cannot be delivered to your home in time for your specific holiday.
“My daughter has been asking for this for months!” Sorry ma’am, we all say to ourselves, but perhaps – maybe – you should have bought it months ago? When she first mentioned her pining for this item?
“Why can’t you extend the discount to this Nerf gun, they’re all the same!” Sorry sir, but they’re clearly not all the same if this one is excluded from the sale, being as this is an EXTREME Nerf something-or-other, and the sale tag clearly states EXTREME anything is excluded from said sale.
“I was waiting for a good sale!” Well, you’re in luck! We have a great sale! So great that we don’t have any of those items anymore!
This diatribe probably sounds rude and overdramatic; but these are all conversations I’ve had with guests, or conversations co-workers have had with guests. My father warned me about it when I was little – and not even in a retail context – but I never realized people were actually nuts.
From my limited understanding of winter holidays other than Christmas, I can only assume that all have similar, general messages of generosity, love, and overall thankfulness for people. So it’s absolutely incomprehensible to me that some of you – typically those prone to bragging about how awesome you are – could advertise this message and yet be rude and confrontational at the 16 year old cashier when the store doesn’t have that Dora the Explorer pajama set in youth size 7 for your grandchild.
In short, General Public, I am asking that you take those messages of generosity, love, and overall thankfulness for people you spout off to others, turn around and give it to others. If you’re frustrated, take a moment to collect yourself; because, there’s a good chance everyone in line behind you is making fun of you and probably Snapchatting your mental breakdown.
Also, you’re kind of being a jerk.
Sincerely yours,
She who understands #RetailProblems all too well.
