Obviously, there are plenty of instances where arranged marriages aren't acceptable. For instance, marrying a young child off to an adult isn't okay in my eyes and never should be. Despite this, an arranged marriage is not the same thing as a forced marriage, and although I personally would not want an arranged marriage, this are still a lot of misconceptions around them.

As someone whose parents were from India, I'm pretty familiar with arranged marriages, seeing as my parents had one. Sometimes when I tell people that I'm of Indian background, they ask whether my parents are going to make me get an arranged marriage, or whether they will pick who I marry.

The answer to that is no. Personally, I don't think a parent should ever control, coerce, or otherwise force their child into marrying a certain person. I wouldn't want an arranged marriage simply for the reason that I do not want anyone besides me to be involved in my love life. However, not all arranged marriages involve force or coercion. When my parents got together, their parents were involved in setting them up, but there was never an expectation that either my mom or dad would *have* to marry the person that their parents found. If either of my parents didn't like or want to marry the other, that would have been the end of their relationship.

In that respect, their marriage was arranged by their parents, as my own parents did not meet each other on their own, but there was never pressure involved. And their marriage has been nothing but successful and loving.

As American culture usually does not encourage one's parents to be part of the process in finding a partner to marry, it may be a strange and seemingly backwards concept to some people. But it is a way of ensuring that your partner has the same values as you do, and also that they have the same intentions to marry as you. While it is a more pragmatic than romantic prospect, it does not make it wrong.

In short, while there are ups and downs to having an arranged marriage, having your marriage arranged by your family does not imply that it was forced or unethical. As long as both people are willing, of age, and feel comfortable knowing that they don't have to get married to the person their family/parents recommends for them, arranged marriage can be a positive thing.