I grew up in a town that had one of the state’s main colleges in it. Before I left high school, I heard many of those stereotypical rumors of guys and girls who were determined to lose their virginity before they went off to college (because many of these people would go to secular schools).
When I got to Baylor, I was culture shocked on a lot of things, but the worst by far was the taboo nature of talking about sex. I was used to talking about it openly with people who were and were not waiting until marriage to hand off their v-card. We didn’t talk about it in a way that pressured the other to have sex, but we thought it was an important conversation to have.
My first week at Baylor, I was hanging out with a few girls, when one joked about her and her boyfriend’s sex life. It was a funny joke, so I laughed, but I noticed a few other girls look at her in a way that screamed judgment.
That girl transferred out of Baylor after her freshman year was over.
I'm not saying that was the reason why she left, because it definitely wasn’t. But many other people I’ve met are uncomfortable talking about sex on campus. Why?
It seems like there’s a distinct split; there are the people on campus who don’t care to save themselves for marriage, and that is completely okay. Then there are the people who are adamant about waiting. That’s okay too. But when these two people, or people with the same beliefs on the topic, start a conversation about it, we should be able to talk about it without judgment being passed.
Sex is way too taboo of a topic. If we talked about it more, especially at Christian universities, there would be less instances of (Christians especially) feeling out of place or guilty for having sexual thoughts. There would be less times when people turn to pornography as a sexual outlet. There would be more understanding of the true purpose of sex, in our human eyes, and in God's eyes as well.
I have friends who are waiting who say that they feel that even after they get married, they’ll feel guilty for having sex with their significant other. They argue that it's because their entire life sex was never talked about, and when it was, the conversation ended quickly because of the negative image plastered around sex.
In the end, it is important for Christians to read their Bible and really understand what it says about sex. It’s pertinent for people to understand that sex is okay and natural. Whether a person decides to wait or not is their choice, and one shouldn’t condemn another for the choice that they made. But in order for people to understand the choice they are making, there needs to be open discussion about it, especially on non-secular campuses like mine.
