When asked if I am an introvert or an extrovert, I usually answer that I am some sort of weird hybrid of the two. The truth is, my own personality is relatively flexible, and I tend to adapt well to my surroundings. Today, if I am around extroverts, I tend to be more extroverted. If I am around more introverts, I tend to be more introverted. However, I was not always this way. When I was very young, I was rather shy. As an adolescent, this of course grew into social awkwardness. By the time I reached high school, I began to grow out of it. What truly helped me come out of my shell (and what helps others as well) were some of the people around me who helped me do it.
When you or introverted or just plain shy, there is a certain anxiety that comes with socialization of any kind- whether it be in class, at a party, at another event and so forth. This anxiousness forces you to examine your own actions and behaviors as if they were under a microscope. In fact, for introverted or shy individuals, it can be hard to even enjoy yourself while socializing. This is why it is important for those of us who are more extroverted (or who have become so over time) make our shy or introverted friends feel more welcome.
One of the tell-tale signs of the "shy friend" is someone who will ask you to do things with or for them that may seem kind of silly at first, like using the bathroom together in a movie theater or ordering their food for them. Make sure that if a friend asks you for assistance in this way, that you don't belittle them or act irritated. In fact, if your friend is asking you to do these things, it means they trust you because you make them feel more comfortable.
Another way to make sure your friend feels included is simply by addressing them through body language! Body language may seem like a small factor, but when the time is right, it can convey powerful messages. If you are standing in a group speaking, for example, make sure that you are making eye contact with the majority of people in the room every once in a while, so as to avoid excluding anyone. If your friend is sitting in a corner and seems lonely, angle your body their way to let them know they are welcome. Body language is important and it works!
Another way to make your introverted or shy friend feel included is by making the conscious effort to address them in conversation. Sometimes, introverts are not sure what to contribute to a conversation. Let them know that their voice is welcome by asking them questions about their day, asking them for input on a certain topic and so forth. Furthermore, always make sure to extend invites to your shy or introverted friends to make them feel more welcome!
Introverts and generally shy people are all around you! They may not always be the way that they are, perhaps they need someone to break them out of their shell. After all, half of the trick of knowing what to say, when to say it, and feeling comfortable saying it allowed is having the right environment to do it in. And finally, never, ever underestimate those who live their lives more quietly. Their ideas and vision for the world could be much louder than their voice!
