They always say your first love never really goes away. After many years, I would have to say that is very correct. Not because there is a hope or glimmer of romance, but a comfort with a first love. A first love has a special place in anyone’s heart. They helped teach you right from wrong in a relationship. They guided you through many of lives obstacles, all the while you too were helping them grow both as a person and as a significant other.
To my first love, Lord knows that was not planned, but fate often has her ways. As fate had her way bringing us together many of times before she finally had enough and bounced me on top of you on a trampoline. And it took me hitting you in the face, for us (mainly me) to admit there was something between us. At that moment and many moments later, we were unaware that those stolen kisses and meetings before sport practices would be limited, but we acted as if we had forever. For this I thank you. I thank you for giving me that drive to make every second last. In that, I did not grasp that fate again could tear something that seemed so pure, but as all things, they have a way of working out.
I learned many things between the stolen kisses, moments, and date nights. I learned that a good date is not by how fancy you dress and how much you spend but based on the smiles, laughs, and quality time shared together. When we (I) couldn’t decide what we wanted to do for Valentine’s Day, we made it work by buying a box of Legos, building a fort, and sharing mac and cheese. Likewise, you taught me that a good boyfriend must be supportive. To this day, I am sure you did not want to spend your entire day at a cheerleading competition but your presence was greatly appreciated and meant so much that you did not just do it once, but many Saturdays, surrounded by pompoms and screaming girls.
Although that relationship taught me many lessons on how a girlfriend or boyfriend should act in situations, I firmly believe I learned more valuable lessons after the break up. These lessons, I choose to believe, are more important because they lead me to discover myself. I learned that I was independent.
Being in a relationship with a first love is difficult for the fact that you are so young. Wewere so young. Together we were just a pair of inexperienced and naïve children, believing the world and fate was not cruel. Experiencing heartbreak only makes a girl stronger, more independent, and better for having gone through the first of many breakups. From here I was able to get up, stand stronger, and have a louder voice. I learned that I had a voice of my own.
With a first love, you often feel like you rely heavily on your significant other. Having found my voice independent of my other half, I was able to speak louder and with more authority. I was able to tell the boys that have come along to keep moving because I either wanted to continue my independence or knew the insignificance of the encounter.
Now, being in a serious relationship I understand the compromise of independence. But very little days go by that one does not think about their past. With this being said, I am thankful for having had my heart broken to pieces. Thankful for the people that showed their true colors and walked away from me at my lowest. Even more thankful for the ones that stuck by me to rise back up from that low. Those pieces were picked back up by friends, family, and yes, even my boyfriend. Those same pieces are held together by my strength, voice, and knowledge. Fate has a way of letting what’s meant to be, be.
