When I was growing up, I remember spending lots of Thanksgivings and Christmases with my mother’s side of the family. It seemed as though every Thanksgiving was spent at my aunt and uncle’s house, then Christmas was spent at my grandparents'. I remember the excitement I felt as I gazed at the Christmas tree, eager to open the presents. I remember trying to eat the turkey leg, but getting full after taking a few bites. I remember what the dining room looked like, and the old fashioned decorations placed around the house. Unfortunately though, I have trouble remembering the faces around the table, the voices of my family members as they conversed while eating our holiday meal.

I lost my last grandparent at a young age. I can’t say that I was devastated, only because I didn’t know my grandfather very well. Because of my young age, I didn’t fully understand what I had lost. With the passing of each grandparent, I felt sadness, but it wasn’t until I became a young adult that I realized the importance of having grandparents.

Now, I see others with their grandparents—visiting for holidays, visiting for the weekend, being able to call them and talk about their lives. All of those things are so precious, and something that I am not able to experience. Sometimes I will think of my grandparents, especially my grandmothers, and wonder what they would think of me. Would they be proud of my accomplishments? Would they be happy with the man that I chose to marry? Then I think of how my mother’s mother was such a wonderful cook, and I wish that I could call her and ask her how to make a dish. Would she approve of my beef stew? I wish that I could meet my father’s mother, as she died before my father even married. I’ve heard so many stories about her love of languages, her love of baking, her love of spending quality time with my dad. I feel as though I have missed so much by not having my maternal and paternal grandparents in my life. It’s like part of me is missing, and in truth, a part of me is.

Grandparents are a part of you, whether you like it or not. You are their legacy. If it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t exist. I think that we often take grandparents for granted just as we take our parents and siblings for granted. As a part of your family, they are interested in your life. Not only do they share genetics, but they may even share some of your likes and dislikes. Because they are older, they have more experience and wisdom about things that happen in your life. Most likely, they have had to face the same challenges at one time.

The loss of any loved one is difficult. Living without them is just as difficult. But I think what is most sad about my situation is that I didn’t get to really know my grandparents because I was too young to realize what they meant to me. Now, as an adult, I understand what I’ve missed out on and I mourn for what I’ve lost and what I’ll never have. For those of you with living grandparents, take time to be with them. Ask them to be a part of your life, if you haven’t already. Grandparents are treasures!