No matter what year you were born, this is something we all can relate to. The childhood crush. It's part of growing up, it's a right of passage. I had like 10 childhood crushes, cause I couldn't make up my mind! I had folders and notebooks and journals with my name and which ever crush of the week's name in little hearts with the words 4 ever under each one. I remember one night, my sisters, best friend and I, sat up one night pairing everyone in the youth group together so that we would all somehow be this giant intertwined family. Looking back on it now, it was completely ridiculous, but it gives us a good laugh.
My first heartbreak, or what I thought was real heartbreak, came in middle school. I went to a different school than my best friend and my crush. This kid, he was the one crush that never waivered, he was always on my notebook. I remember one day, my best friend called me a little bit into our conversation, she got quiet and said, "There's something I have to tell you, and you're not going to like it." My heart sunk all the way to my stomach and I just wanted to die. My crush was dating a girl, and that girl wasn't me. I was devastated. I thought, "This is it. My life is over!". And then a few days went by and I was back crushing on a different boy who wouldn't give me the time of day either.
Fast forward a few years, and I found a different childhood crush of mine on Facebook. His family moved to Tennessee just before we started middle school. I saw his picture and said, "Why not?! Worst he can do is not remember me.". To my amazement though, he remembered and sent me a message within a few minutes, "Is it really you?" From that point forward, we talked and talked and eventually moved up to Skype. (Yes, this was pre-FaceTime) I convinced him to fly to Florida to visit me and my family. I took him to Universal Studios, we drove around our old stomping grounds, just reminisced about the good ole times. Fast forward a few months, he asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes, obvs, and in that moment, everything changed.
He wasn't just my childhood crush anymore, he was my boyfriend, who lived 700 miles away. So being the naïve 19 year old that I was, I dropped everything and moved to Knoxville. It was the best, worst, most confusing and freeing decision I ever made. I thought this was it, I was going to marry the boy I had been in love with for as long as I can remember. And then about 6 months into our relationship, it occurred to me, oh, we aren't 10 anymore. He grew up, he had different influences than me, he went to different schools, he wasn't the same kid, he was a man now.
So why am I rambling about all this? Because life doesn't always turn out how we plan it. Sometimes, all someone is meant to be, is a childhood crush. And that's okay. Childhood crushes are there to teach us lessons about life and love and growth. They help shape us into who we are going to be, to be the perfect wife or husband for someone else one day.
It's not the end of the world if you didn't marry your childhood crush. Trust me, the sun comes up and the world keeps spinning.
