When you went on vacation to the beach as a little kid, did you ever just walk around the beach looking for shells? I remember I would always wake up early in the morning with my nana when I was three years old to find the “best shells” before anyone else had gotten to the beach that day. I remember thinking if I could find the perfect shells, I could bring them back from vacation and brag to all of my friends. If the shell had the littlest crack or part of the pattern was off, I would simply throw it back in the ocean.

It wasn’t until one day I was walking the beach with my dad when I was a little older when something so simple struck home with me. I was just going through the motion of looking for these perfect shells until I came across a conch-looking shell that was buried in between several other shells. I exclaimed to my dad, “Oh my gosh, you’re not going to believe the shell I see.” I proceeded to pick it up, only to find that only the top of the conch shell was completely in tact and the rest had been crushed or parts were whittled away from the ocean. I couldn’t have been more let down.

Now, I know everyone has a different type of dad, but they all always have one thing in common: They want what is best for their daughters. I will always value and appreciate my dad as the wise old soul. He is there for me in any time of need, and all it takes is a hug and a few calming words of wisdom. Some of the times his lines are cheesy or his jokes just aren’t funny, but every once in a while, he has a one-liner that sticks.

He looked down at me in this moment as I went to throw the broken conch shell back into the ocean and said, “Em, not every shell is going to be perfect, but you have to look for the beauty within each shell.” I laughed at first, but then looked back down at the shell, and instead of focusing on the imperfections, I noticed what made it “special.” It had a pink color to it that no other shell I had seen that day had, so I put it in my pocket and saved it.

My dad sends the constant reminder that my sisters and I are all “special.” We are each so different from one another in every single way, but he always makes us feel like we could rule the world. Living under his watch for almost 17 years of my life with that constant reminder has changed the way I live my life now.

That imperfect shell is a reflection of each and every person. All of us have something that makes us different. However, “different” isn’t a bad thing; it’s just different. One person might be musically talented enough to start a record deal, whereas another person might only have the ability to stick to the football field. That doesn’t mean one of those is better than the other. Our differences are what make us special and unique. Your freckles are beautiful. You don’t need to dye your hair 100 different colors until you get one that matches that celebrity you know. If you have curves instead of a thigh gap and vice versa, you aren’t imperfect. You don’t need to get the same grade on a test as the person next to you. If your Instagram got less likes than that girl you aspire to be like, don’t question yourself. When you cry about something that no one else in the room cries about, it doesn’t make you more weak or vulnerable. If a bad picture is posted of you, take a breath because no one expects you to look a certain way but you.

Imperfections are simply differences between different people. If everyone was the “perfect shell,” our relationships would be bland, redundant and uninteresting.

So, start looking at people’s differences and so-called imperfections as what makes them special, instead of just looking at what you think to be their negative features. If someone’s laugh bothers you, think about how you appreciate his or her ability to act so selflessly.

You never know who you could be “throwing back into the ocean” before actually getting to know them as a whole.