When You Realize You've Changed? | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
popular

When You Realize You've Changed For The Better

Discovering you're not who you used to be... and maybe that's a good thing.

1368
Nandi Smith
Nandi Smith

A while ago I was looking back at old pictures and I could only think: Who is that? Who is that girl who used to laugh at anything and everything? Who is that girl with no worries and no fears just drifting through life? Who is that girl who is so brave and beautiful?

What made that girl so confident? What made her so happy? What made her want to have all eyes on her and be the center of attention? What made her feel so alive?

When did I stop being that girl? When did I lose that feeling of freedom? When did I realize that I wasn't her any longer? When did my friends realize–have they realized– that I am a different girl?

Where did I go wrong? Where did I go right? Where did I learn the lessons that made me who I am now? Where did I become who I am now? Where was the place that I made this subtle change that changed my life completely?

Why did I let it happen? Why am I so scared and anxious? Why do I care so much less now? Why do I yearn for this girl who is so far from who I am and who I want to be? Why did I let that affect me? Why did I let them affect me? Why am I who I am now?

How do I become her again? How do I become this girl when I have grown and changed so much? How do I become this girl who was so confident, yet so insecure? How do I become this girl who laughed so much, but was much less happy than she appeared? How do I let myself go back to that place when I am so much happier with who I am now?

Taylor Swift has a song lyric that has always and forever resonated with me. She says in her song All Too Well, "I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it".

I really don't know who she is anymore; not Taylor Swift...me. I don't know who that girl I used to be is. She seems so far from me. While I still hold her close to me, I don't know if I want her with me anymore. She may have been so many beautiful things, but there was always something wrong with her. And to be honest, I truly do like who I am now a lot more. She is so hard to say goodbye to, because I truly love her, but she needs to be out of my life.

To be honest, I have a lot more growth to do. I can still resonate with these feelings I had back in March. It's been a difficult journey of learning about myself and figuring out the type of person I want to be, but it has been very rewarding becoming this current version of myself.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
sex and the city
Warner Bros. Television

1. You don't have to feel guilty about flirting with customers for tips (or just for shits and giggles).

2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

5. The toilet seat will remain down.

6. There's more money to spend on yourself.

7. There's always this secret butterfly in your tummy that marvels at the possibility that when you go out this weekend you're gonna meet someone super handsome/wonderful/prince-like and have this moment of dazzling dalliance.

8. Nothing is that serious...you can take it all with a grain of salt...you don't owe anybody anything.

9. You can dance with anyone and everyone...or no one (Hello frat boi w/ glasses, I see you).

10. You don't have to fluff anyone's ego but your own.

11. Free drinks and dinners from single guys (It's not taking advantage if they're offering; a girl's gotta eat).

12. You have more time to learn how to love and improve yourself rather than constantly pouring your energy into another person.

13. You don't have to sacrifice your cheesy Jen Aniston rom-coms and Gilmore Girls for his Fast and Furious/other dumb action movie featuring blonde that is only in the movie to supply a relationship to the male lead and to make him look more masculine/empowered in juxtaposition (In other words, you don't have to deal with a guy being a crabby Patty while you watch your cute movies).

14. You can daydream about what your future husband may be doing right now (and not get stressed/guilty out because you're not picturing your current boyfriend that's crazy about you as your future husband).

15. There is more time to be spent with your girlfriends.

Girls Night In
Milk + Blush

We've all been there - you've been saying since Tuesday after French that this weekend is the weekend. You're finally going to break out those new heels and actually put on eyeliner on and make this Friday night be one for the memory books! That is, of course, until Girls Night Out turned into...Girls Night In.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

What Is Your Zodiac GIF?

Characteristics of the astrological signs, explained through GIFS.

699
zodiac
Wordpress

Whether you believe astrology is a legitimate "science" or not, we have all found ourselves looking at our horoscopes from time to time. The 12 astrological signs all fall under one of four elements: air, water, earth, or fire. Air signs are rational, social, and love to communicate with others. Water signs are are emotional, intuitive, and mysterious. Fire signs tend to be passionate, creative, and adventurous. Earth signs are conservative, realistic, and loyal.

Each sign is determined by the relative positions of celestial bodies to ourselves at our moment of birth, which is said to influence our personalities. Find your zodiac GIF below, based on the traits and characteristics provided by each sign.

***Disclaimer: GIFS are meant to be lighthearted and are based on descriptions of signs from http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/.

Keep Reading...Show less
camp fire on the beach
www.stocksnap.com

If you haven't read the first part of this, I would highly suggest to, specifically because the Public Service Announcement placed in the beginning of that article still applies. If you don't feel like reading part one, I will try to cover it quickly. Basically, long story short, I am a pretty boring person and lead a pretty ordinary life. Due to this, please do not expect for the things I consider ridiculous to be what others may deem it. I promise that each of these I have done with a complete sane, mildly bored, brain. With all of this being said, please enjoy the semi-absurd things I have been lead to do in the second semester of my freshman year at college.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

The Importance Of The Friends You Make In College

They're not just your friends, they're your family.

2794
friends
Kristin Buggy

College is supposed to be one of the best times of your life. However, it is also one of the toughest transitions to make. There is so much anticipation and excitement leading up to moving into college. It doesn’t truly hit you until move in day when your parents say their final goodbyes and you see their car drive away. You truly are on your own. I was blessed to meet my best friends within the first week of school. Your college friends are so important and here’s why:

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments