Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend, happily in a relationship of her own, when she asked, “Ciera, why don’t you have a boyfriend? I mean, you’re smart, you’re pretty, you’re successful, you’ve just overall got it together. You’re a catch. Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” While obviously very flattered, I was a bit taken aback. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all the things my sweet friend had to say, and her concern for me, but I was just absolutely baffled. Even though she had just described me as a perfect catch, was I still not good enough on my own? Did I really need a boyfriend to be fully complete?

I so often see girls that will so quickly settle for the first cute boy that messages them on Twitter or swipes right to them on Tinder. Is this what modern romance has come to? A cheesy pick-up line and a half-hearted attempt at asking someone out? If there’s anything I’ve learned in the (seemingly very short) span of my life, it’s that pursuing anything that isn’t going to make you completely crazy, over-the-moon happy isn’t worth it at all. Thanks to my past relationships (all two of them) I’ve learned that it’s completely OK to walk away from something that you aren’t 100 percent sure lines up with your ideas of happiness and satisfaction. Walking away will only show you what you do and don’t want in your next relationship, only making you a better person for your future partner.

You see, I have this theory. This theory is that you can’t fully love anyone else until you can fully, completely love yourself

first. I’m just now learning this. I’m still learning to love myself. And on this journey of self-exploration and acceptance, I’m way too busy fearlessly pursuing what sets my soul on fire to worry about a boyfriend. God knows who my person is. He will come into my life when I least expect it. So, you know what? I refuse to lower my standards while I’m waiting. And I'm not sorry about it either.