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Student Life

I'm This Young Once

And That's Okay

Kyrsten Leake
Sep 06, 2017
Brigham Young University Idaho
38
I'm This Young Once
Pixabay

Right now, at this exact moment, I’m twenty years old. In January, I’ll be twenty-one.

Now what do you think of when you think of your twenties? College? Grad School? Drinking? Dating? Marriage? Babies?

Probably all of the above. I know people who fit perfectly into each of these category’s. The question is where do I fit in? Yes, I’m dating. Yes, I’ve done a bit of college. The thought of having a baby this early scares me.

I don’t fit into any of categories perfectly. Last week if someone would’ve asked me where exactly my life is headed I would’ve freaked out. All I have going for me is becoming a psychologist and owning a jeep. I also casually decide if I am going to my dad’s every weekend. (sorry not sorry)

I have friends who graduated college and some going to grad school. I have friends married. I have friends younger and older who have had kids.

What am I doing or should I say planning to do with my life?

Well, it is currently a little past midnight while I am writing this. I am sitting on my bed while this is past the due date.

I am not in college. I’m not married. I’m not having a baby. Actually, I don’t think I have an exact plan.

Why is this you may ask?

Well, every single time I make a plan, life goes and says nope. It took me until today that I am never going to have an exact plan of my life. I am young. I also have so much ahead of me.

So now I make little goals and go from there. I have a job which helps me save money so I can go back to college. People ask me all the time if I plan to go back to school and where. I know I am going to go back to school. I may not know exactly where I am meant to continue my education but the fact that I know I am going to go back is something not many can say.

Being twenty has opened my eyes in so many ways.

I am not the normal twenty-year-old. I have doctor appointments and therapy sessions on a weekly basis. I used to let that bring me down because I thought it was negative. I felt sorry for myself. I realized that without this help that I am getting I would probably be dead so I should be grateful for the help. My doctors all work hard to make sure that I am on the right path.

I realized I wasn’t normal when I knew that I have seen a certain doctor for a year or realized that on all my days off I am at a therapist or an appointment. You know what, it wasn’t in my life plan to spend the last year and a half almost two years on my health. I never expected to have as many health issues. I expected that I would have them under control within six months but nope. I have said multiple times that I would be doing something else with my life.

But guess what? I’m not and it is perfectly okay.

So, what I’m not the girl who is married? So, what I am not the girl who is graduating college? So, what that I am taking some time off to focus on me?

My life isn’t normal. I don’t have it planned out. I take it day by day and see where that takes me. It is my life and I am going to take it at my pace.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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