I’m the oldest in a family of four: my dad, mom, me and my sister. My sister is 3 years younger than me. Growing up, she and I played together, did sports together, even had some of the same friends.

But, as we both got into the middle school and high school phase, she and I became drastically different. While I was a tomboy, she was a girly girl. While I hated going out, it was a special occasion if she spent the night at home.

I was always into academics and she was more into sports. As an older child, classically, my huge self-esteem took over. I saw how different my sister was and how she didn’t really know what she wanted with her life, and I thought to myself, “I’ll never be like her. I have it all planned out.”

Over a decade later, and things could not be more different. Sure, my sister and I have gone down even further ends of the spectrum, but even though I always told myself that she was taking the dangerous, risky path whereas, I was on the safe, stable path, and for that reason, I would never want to be like her, things have changed.

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I admire her will to follow her passion even though she isn’t making a ton of money. I admire her ability to travel the world, not worrying that she won’t get to sleep in her comfy bed that night or without fear that she is in a country where she does not speak the language.

I admire her openness — if you thought I was open-minded, you should meet her. I admire her willingness to work off-jobs just so she can afford to pursue her passion. I admire her free spirit. I admire her opinions. I admire that she has the confidence to voice them.

I’m not saying I don’t have some of the above qualities, but me? I took the road more traveled. I took the safe route. I would never travel the world — I love my bed too much. I was truly afraid to pursue my passion, and it led me to make choices that — at the time seemed good — but in the long run, were the “safe” way for me to go.

My sister embodies a bunch of things I wish I could be, and to be honest, I could be those things. I believe that the things we admire in other people are things we are totally capable of being ourselves.

Maybe someday I will embody all of the qualities I look up to in her, but for now, I am content with having an example for how I want to live my life. It's totally fine that I never once imagined I would look up to my sister, younger than me by three years.