The Bible says to “guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23)”. I think it is both a blessing and a curse that I am not one of those people who remains guarded. I love with my entire heart, in everything I do. If I am not passionately committed to the relationship, project, or dream, it will not last. I love with nothing left in me and no reservations. People that I have just met find a way to enter my heart and soul and I can’t seem to let them go. I am invested in all of my relationships, my real, meaningful relationships, 100%. I am easy to let others in, without getting to know their true character. I believe that this is where living with my heart on my sleeve ends up hurting me.
I think that remaining guarded for a time is a good thing. I think that someone should have to prove to you that they deserve to have a place in your heart and in your life. Unfortunately, even though my head believes this, my heart does not. This willingness to so easily let others in has left me with a growing list of broken relationships. I know that many other factors play into the loss of what once was, but I think that if I could guard my heart in even the slightest way, I could save myself from some heartache.
It’s a sad day when you realize that the majority of relationships don’t last, albeit romantic partners or friendships. At some point in time, something usually goes wrong and things begin to fall apart. Though this sounds extremely narcissistic, I believe that there is value in this lesson I have learned. In my personal experience, I feel more relationships have fallen apart than those that have weathered the storm. It is for that reason why I need to begin to guard the most sensitive part of my being, my heart. I need to save myself for the good ones. The real friends who would never speak a negative word about you. The best friend that you know you can rely on, no matter what life throws your way. THE guy. The guy that loves you endlessly to never intentionally hurt you and to always fight for you.
Living with my heart on my sleeve contributes to my extreme sensitivity. I cry at any romantic novel, heart-wrenching movie, and powerful church service. I do not hide my tears or my emotions. I can walk through a crowd with tears rolling down my face and think nothing of it. I can share the depths of my being with someone who hasn’t earned my heart and trust. I know that my balance between love and reservation needs to be improved. I know that I must guard my heart, because everything that I do flows from it.