Historically, women have always had a different set of rights, laws and expectations than men in both a legal and cultural sense. In Ancient Greece, women were literally locked in an ivory tower, and it seems that we might as well still hang out there. America's in decline. We're moving backwards and I can't bear to see it anymore. In history class, we learned about Pax Romana than the Decline of Rome. Is America the new Rome? Or are these the Dark Ages before we hit our Golden Age?
I'm not here to talk history though; I'm here to talk about now. I'm here to talk about the fact that I am a citizen of a country where I have (debatably) equal rights and am still treated like an inferior creature. I'm here to talk about why I'm terrified to be a woman.
I'm here to talk about how I have at least one person tracking my location at all times in case the guy I'm on a date with kidnaps me, rapes me and/or kills me. I'm terrified to be a woman who goes on a first date.
I'm here to talk about the knife I keep in my car in case the customer who wouldn't take no for an answer follows me to my car when I get off work. I shouldn't be afraid of my customers. I shouldn't be afraid to go back to a table I've been waiting on for hours because the guy asked six times if I had a boyfriend. I shouldn't be afraid to leave the building by myself because he asked a coworker if I was lying to him. I'm terrified to be a woman who works nights and I'm terrified to be a woman that says no to the pursuits of a man.
I'm here to talk about how every time I walk the streets of the city I call home I have my finger ready to press the trigger of a can of mace. I didn't used to do it. I used to keep the neat little pink weapon on my keychain in my bag. One night my friends and I were followed by a homeless man begging for money and telling us jokes. He wasn't all too bad and he's a local character. But that event triggered me–what if I was alone? What if he wasn't harmless? In any city a young woman is a target. It has nothing to do with her clothes, shoes, or smile. I've been followed down that street, one of my city's proposed "safe corridors," on two other occasions. The first time was while I was in sweatpants and sweatshirt, my body nearly shapeless as I ran from the old man who told me he wanted to touch my butt. He couldn't even see my butt. The second time was the first warm day of spring, when I wore a sundress. I was followed down the street and around a corner, for nearly two blocks by a young well-dressed man. I span around quick holding my mace just three feet from his face when I felt him gain on me. He asked me if he startled me before telling me he just really needed to speak to me. I'm terrified to be a woman who leaves her house on her own.
I'm here to talk about why I'm terrified to go on a first date, say no to the pursuits of a man, work nights, and leave my house on my own. I'm terrified because I'm a woman. I'm terrified because I know that if I were a man I would not need to be terrified.
I'm terrified because in my generation we meet our significant others on apps and not in bookstores. We don't have romantic beginnings and we hardly even know who's showing up at our front door let alone whether their intentions are to date us or sleep with us.
I'm terrified to say no to the pursuits of a man because God forbid I say no and he's never heard that before. God forbid he is the sort of entitled prick that we've been hearing about every day in the media. God forbid he tell me that I'm not good enough to refuse him. God forbid he take what he wants anyways.
I'm here to talk about why I'm terrified to be a woman. I'm here to tell you that I pray my daughter and her daughter will live in a different world than this. I'm terrified that because they are women my daughter and her daughter might be worse off.
I'm here to talk about how us girls travel in packs on a night out and all keep tabs on who's with who at a party. I'm here to talk about how we always leave the party together and always get the full name of the guy our friend is leaving with. I'm here to talk about how we're told not to drink so much or wear so little. I'm here to talk about why I'm terrified to go out to college parties in light of the Stanford rape. I'm here to talk about how the only thing I'm more scared of than being raped is the judge who doesn't punish my rapist accordingly and the media who cares more about his athletic record than the fact that he single-handedly ruined someone's life. I'm terrified to be the victim of a society where my only real wrongdoing is being a woman.





















