Dating has certainly changed from generation to generation, for the good and the worse. Many people from older generations will like to bash the idea of technology and cell phone usage in the dating world. Yes, there are some downsides, but there are truthfully many positives.
With our little cell phone in our pocket, we can really have as much contact with our significant other as we'd like. The other person is just a text away!
As easy as it is to keep in contact with our significant others, it's just as easy to cut off this contact. This has translated to the idea of ghosting. Ghosting is a term used when somebody suddenly stops talking to someone they had been, as if completely disappearing.
Admittedly, I have ghosted people before, and I know it is done very often in modern dating. It has toxic qualities. It can be toxic because it leaves the person on the other end wondering, "What did I do? Am I not good enough?"
As you can imagine, it can hurt the other party.
Sadly, it is done so often, and many times, it truly is not the other person's fault! From my perspective, ghosting is so often done as a coping mechanism with somebody's own insecurities.
Unless this is only me, in which I will become very insecure that somebody I am getting close to no longer likes me, thus I will stop talking to so and so to avoid being a nuisance.
So, truthfully, you did nothing wrong, and you are good enough. It is not you, it's me! I do understand the harmful effects of this, which is why I am 100% going to continue to better myself in these positions and find better ways of communicating instead of using this toxic concept that millennial dating has made so common.
But do remember, as with everyone, there is gray within the black and white! Not all ghosting is toxic; if you are in an abusive relationship of any kind, do not be afraid to disappear. If it's truly what is best for you, sometimes ghosting is the best way to go.
Unlike in my case where I project my own personal fears into my abandonment, and many other cases that are typically selfish and unruly, think of how it will have an effect on the person you are doing it to. People's hearts and minds are not something you can play with as you'd like.
Everybody has complex feelings and emotions as you do, so be careful as to how your actions can affect other people.
It can be hard to look outside of our own little bubble of feelings and emotions to see how others are also feeling, but it helps to look for that perspective before you make any decisions pertaining another human being.
To all the boys I've ghosted, I'm so sorry. It was never you, it was me!
