Hey Homegirl,

Before you start reading I want to tell you I love you tremendously. I know it’s weird to say since I don’t even know you, but in a sense, I feel like I do. I feel like I’ve walked in your shoes in some shape or form.

Maybe this is your story….

1. Your dad left you at a young age. Really he’s just a man you hear about every once in a while.

2. Your dad was incarcerated for the majority of your life. No birthday letters where ever sent to you and no phone calls were ever made.

3. Your dad drank a lot. He was around, but most of your memories about him are when he would say rude words and then take it back that morning or the slaps he would give and then quickly say it was the alcohol.

4. Your dad slept at your home, but he worked a lot. He would always apologize for not being at your dance recital or softball game when he had promised weeks ago he would. Your family went to dinner for your birthday and after waiting for 15 minutes your mom defended your dad once again saying, “He had a very important business meeting. I’m sorry sweetie.”

5. Your dad was once your best friend. You loved him more than anything on this earth, but one day he left. He fought with your mom all the time and a couple years later you learned he at cheated on your mom.

6. Your dad is just a cheater and left you for a whole different family.

We’ve been hurt. I know how it feels to see other girls at dinner with their dads laughing and posting Instagram pictures about how they want their future husbands to have the same characteristics as their dad. Isn't he suppose to be the one man we can count on and never leave us?

Don’t tuck the pain under the rug in your heart where you tuck all the other pain you don't want to face.

As John Green says, “That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.”

Don’t let the mistakes of your father ruin future relationships for you. Not every man is like the dad that once hurt you.

“Guard your heart, for everything you do in life flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

Reach out to him. One thing I’ve learned is that my dad doesn't really know how to say sorry. You don't have to forgive him, but the least you can do is tell him how you feel.

Most importantly remember you are loved. You are loved by the King of Kings.

“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,[g] Father.” Romans 8:15

I hope in a way this brings you comfort. I know what he did or what he is currently doing will never be erased from your mind, but find comfort in knowing there are others girls like you. We are in a sense a sisterhood of girls hurt by our fathers. But let that not define us. Don't let it define you.