For a long time, sorry slipped out of my lips almost constantly.
"I'm sorry for this..."
"I'm sorry for that..."
But then I stepped back and realized, am I truly sorry? And what inside of myself am I so unsure of that makes me feel the need to consistently apologize for being true to myself? This "sorry" epidemic has devalued the word sorry to just pieces of sad confetti lying dirty and wet on the ground because they don't mean anything to anyone.
When I took inventory of my own life, I came to the conclusion that I am not sorry.
I'm not sorry I poured my heart into an endeavor that backfired and broke me.
I'm not sorry I made poor decisions regarding friendships and ended up hurt, leaning on others for support.
I'm not sorry I wear my hair to wild or dye it wild colors.
I'm not sorry I have piercings or tattoos, or sometimes only have the motivation to wear sweatpants.
I'm not sorry for making mistakes, going the wrong way, or throwing caution to the wind.
I'm not sorry for creating a life I love.
I'm simply not sorry. Because my life is not an apology.
The moment I realized that my life isn't something to be sorry about and my existence isn't a burden, I replaced my sorry's with thank you's.
Thank you for letting me bask in my glory as I am, and loving me nonetheless.
Thank you for supporting me when my world crumbled and I was left with nothing but a bruised heart and salty tears.
Thank you for giving me another chance to show you my heart.
Thank you for teaching me invaluable lessons about life and love.
Thank you for validating my thoughts and caressing my mind with new and exciting knowledge.
Thank you for opening doors, windows, and breaking ceilings to help me succeed.
Thank you for lending your arms and your ears when you didn't have to.
Thank you for warming your hands to heat up my heart.
Thank you.
I am not sorry for taking up space and roaring into the wind like the strong and independent woman I have become. I am not sorry for abandoning toxic relationships in order to preserve my sense of self-worth. I am not sorry for choosing myself, and I will continue to shamelessly choose myself every day for the rest of my life. Thank you for accepting me, wholly loving me, and allowing me the space on this planet to traipse languidly through life, leaving a trail of glitter wherever I go.