For the next four years, I and many others will live in fear of what comes next. We must constantly look over our shoulders to make sure that we aren’t being followed, or ogled, or threatened. Yes, I can honestly say that I hate Donald Trump. His win on November 8, 2016 came as an unexpected shock to me and many others who truly believed that the country knew better. At this point, it isn’t about politics for me. It’s knowing that Donald Trump, a reality show celebrity, and an all-around bigot, was voted the 45^th President of the United States of America, a nation built on the beliefs of freedom and opportunity for all people. This unfortunate situation is painfully ironic.

Yes, I voted for Hillary Clinton, a woman with big dreams and a rocky past. How can we compare misused Email servers to a long line of sexism, racism, bigotry, and sexual misconduct allegations? Yes, I’m devastated that Donald Trump won and that Hillary Clinton lost. In the end, it’s not the fact that I was “on the losing team”, it’s the fact that fear and hate have won in a country I was once proud to live in. But despite all of this, I can use these feelings to change the situation we’ve been thrown into.

While watching the Electoral votes roll in, I couldn’t help but think of how this election could potentially ruin the lives of so many of the people I love. My many friends in the LGBTQIA+ community now have to fear for their ability to use the bathroom corresponding to the gender that they identify with, the possibility of their right to marry people of their same gender disappearing, and the looming threat of “conversion therapy”. As a woman, there’s always going to be the looming presence of Trump’s comments about us and the idea that if a man has enough fame and fortune, he can get away with rape. This is not a world I want my future children to grow up in. Even though Trump could only hold office for four to eight years, the effects of his discriminatory policies will be lasting.

From this turmoil, we can find motivation and strength. Because of this setback, we now can show our strengths as a greater community. Together, we have a chance to overturn a decision that was made through a lens of hatred instead of love and future progress. Never before have I ever felt such a drive to participate in politics and make sure that my voice is heard.

This election cycle has brought out the best and worst in just about every American. No one stepped away from the 2016 election night with feelings of indifference. Everyone was either satisfied or distraught.

To reiterate, I’m not butthurt because my favored candidate lost. I’m genuinely terrified of what is to come in the next four to eight years. The lives of my family and friends are in danger, which should never have to be a concern. It’s not a shot at my pride, but at my peace of mind.