There’s something strange with our generation. People lock up their hearts in tiny little, invisible compartments and live in some kind of secret garden because they’re too afraid of commitment and getting too close to anyone. Dating these days is all about who posts the cutest picture with the best captions on Instagram, how many expensive dates you go on, and how “amazing” you can make your relationship look to outsiders. Millennial dating isn’t real, and there’s something very wrong with that. Girls are shallow and boys aren’t able to commit.
I’ve been in quite a few relationships of my own, in which the effort was more on my part than the guy’s (again, here shows the fear of commitment issue). Not saying girls shouldn’t make an effort, but I’m still pretty old fashioned, meaning I hold on to the belief that the man should lead the relationship and pursue the woman—not the other way around. But in the midst of these tangled-up relationships that were doomed to fail, I’ve learned that all you can do is love regardless. And even though these relationships were extremely painful and draining, I’ve learned one important thing: I’m totally okay with being the one to love the most.
I’m all about cheesy love notes, cute picnics on the beach, and showing up at your house with breakfast that I made just for you. I love surprising you with special date ideas, buying cute clothes for you, or taking you to the concert you’ve always dreamed of going to. Seeing you excites me, and doing anything to make your day better fulfills me and makes me happy. I put all or nothing into my relationships, and if I choose you, I’ll choose you all the way. Taking care of you when you’re sick, or cleaning your room while you’re in class is something that I just do because I love you. I don’t expect anything in return in any sense. It’s just what I do, and it’s how I love.
I’m completely okay with being the one who fights for your heart. I won’t fight to the point of losing my own sanity, or fight to the point where I feel like I’m drowning - because I expect you to make an effort and to love me the way that I deserve - but I’m completely okay with being the first one to show you that true love does exist.
And even in the end, if you don’t choose me, I know you’ll remember me. I won’t be ashamed of loving you with all my heart. I’ll know that in the end, you’ll look back and remember that one special girl who loved you fully and completely in a way no one else did. I’m okay with loving you, and I’m not afraid. This is who I am. True love isn’t halfway. True love is giving it your all, despite the chance of possibly getting your heart broken. Because in reality, if you aren’t willing to go all in, there’s no point in loving.
I just pray that someday, I find someone who is willing to love me the way I love them.
