I am incredibly thankful that my parents raised me to be an independent woman. I don't mean that in the traditional sense, where I am completely financially independent or that as soon as I left for college, I never needed them for anything ever again. I am 20 years old and my parents support me financially. They pay for my car and my phone and my food. My school and apartment are paid for in scholarships and college funds but if it wasn't, they would help me with that too. I'm really close with my parents and I love that besides being financially supportive, they are encouraging and supportive of everything that I do.
But even better than that, they taught me how to think for myself and how to be proud of who I am and how I'm different from those around me. My parents taught me not to believe everything that I hear and to do what's best for me, rather than just do what everyone else is doing. My parents raised me to make my own decisions.
My parents taught me how to think and how to live independently.
Most importantly, my parents never once tried to tell me or teach me what I believe.
A belief is an opinion. A belief is supposed to be something that belongs to an individual. And yes, people can share beliefs. But I don't think that beliefs should be forced upon people and I definitely don't think that people should be told that their beliefs are wrong. I think that people should be able to form their own beliefs without unwanted interference from others.
Growing up, I didn't go to church a lot. It wasn't until I went to college that I began to go regularly. And it was completely my decision to do so. I was curious. I had questions. And because I was an adult and at college and I could do whatever I wanted, I decided I was going to go to church. And I got to decide for myself if I liked it if it was a lifestyle I wanted, and if I hold Christian beliefs instead of my parents deciding for me and I am so grateful for that.
When I started dating in high school, my parents didn't make rules about my relationships. Because they were my relationships. And my parents respect the autonomy of beliefs and decisions. Sure, a curfew was still usually enforced and I was expected to let them know where I was going. But never once did they try to tell me what was okay in my relationship. They didn't try to set boundaries or tell me what was and wasn't allowed and they let me draw those lines for myself.
They also let me make my own mistakes. They never once said "break up with him, he's not the one for you" even if they realized it before I did. They let me decide that for myself. They let me date the wrong person because I was happy and in love. And it wasn't their decision to make; it was mine. And when I did make that decision, and break up with him, they didn't get to say "I told you so" because they never did.
My dad especially is a pretty political person. He's very knowledgeable and informed, and like most people, he has lots of opinions and beliefs. Especially with the recent election, there have been ample opportunities for him to encourage me to think one way or the other or to try and convince me who I should vote for and why. But he never did that. I think we have pretty similar political beliefs. But even if we didn't have similar beliefs, he wouldn't try to change mine. Just because he's my dad doesn't mean that we have to believe the same things. We have lots in common but we also have plenty of differences.
Whenever I see people blindly agreeing with their parents or their friends, it's sickening to me. It's hard for me to imagine how difficult it would be to grow up believing certain things just because you were always taught that's what you're supposed to believe. It hurts my heart to think about people whose family and loved ones tell them that what they believe is wrong. And though it's easy to be impressionable and to accept the things you see or hear without doing any research or thinking of your own, I would urge you to take the time to question your beliefs and where they came from. I am confident in knowing that my beliefs came from myself.
I like that I can see both sides to every argument because I wasn't raised with any bias. I'm so thankful that I have always been allowed to choose how I want to do things and what I want to believe because my parents didn't predetermine those things for me. I'm glad that when I see or hear something new, I wonder about the validity and the truthfulness of that information. The world (and particularly the internet) is so full of misinformation. It is imperative to really find out if what you're reading or hearing is the truth before you choose to believe it. I would encourage you to try and live the way my parents showed me to live- strong in my beliefs, questioning of the world, and independent in my thinking.
