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I'm in a blue haze.

The world as I know it has shifted into a blue tint that is both beautiful and terrifying.

May 24, 2019

Life has been pretty interesting lately. I've taken a year to really learn about myself and now I'm afraid that that year I took to myself may turn into a lifetime of being by myself.

I'm a 21-year-old aspiring writer who has only really been in love once in her life. Yet, here I am complaining that I will never find love and I know it's crazy but it's something that I worry about. I'm open to love and meeting someone but at the same time, I feel as if I've missed my window.

As I write this, I am sat on my back porch looking out into a field of green that ends in a lush forest. I shut my eyes and let the new April sun hit my skin for the first time in months. I felt a warmth that I haven't felt in years. With my eyes shut I wonder what I had done wrong, could I change? Had I done something wrong in the past that is affecting my life today? How is it easy for everyone else to find love that lasts while I struggle?

My parents have been together since high school, my older sister has been with her high-school-sweetheart for 16 years, and my older brother had already met his now serious girlfriend by the age that I am now.

I'm so young so I'm not rushing anything but it is nice to be able to share life with someone else. Traveling and being able to share the little moments in life with someone is special.

As I open my eyes, the world is engulfed in a blue tint, as if signifying the blueness that I feel inside has become a reality.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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I'm in a blue haze.

The world as I know it has shifted into a blue tint that is both beautiful and terrifying.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

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1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

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4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

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12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!