Life has been pretty interesting lately. I've taken a year to really learn about myself and now I'm afraid that that year I took to myself may turn into a lifetime of being by myself.

I'm a 21-year-old aspiring writer who has only really been in love once in her life. Yet, here I am complaining that I will never find love and I know it's crazy but it's something that I worry about. I'm open to love and meeting someone but at the same time, I feel as if I've missed my window.

As I write this, I am sat on my back porch looking out into a field of green that ends in a lush forest. I shut my eyes and let the new April sun hit my skin for the first time in months. I felt a warmth that I haven't felt in years. With my eyes shut I wonder what I had done wrong, could I change? Had I done something wrong in the past that is affecting my life today? How is it easy for everyone else to find love that lasts while I struggle?

My parents have been together since high school, my older sister has been with her high-school-sweetheart for 16 years, and my older brother had already met his now serious girlfriend by the age that I am now.

I'm so young so I'm not rushing anything but it is nice to be able to share life with someone else. Traveling and being able to share the little moments in life with someone is special.

As I open my eyes, the world is engulfed in a blue tint, as if signifying the blueness that I feel inside has become a reality.