Things have been going great for me lately, and it sucks. I have a new job, a new apartment, I go to a great school. I am grateful for these things, don't get me wrong, but for years I've lived barely scraping by, in a basement, with nothing but my own angst and art to keep me going. When I wasn't working 10-12 hour days at my local dealership, I would throw all of my discontent into creation. I would go home and write music for hours, crafting angst-ridden rock anthems and catchy alternative melodies. I would throw myself into writing 110 page screenplays, or 90 minute musical theater pieces that narrated the struggle in which I was immersed in. For about three years I was creating at a rapid pace, but then something really interesting happened: Things started going right for me.
Once my situation started to improve, other aspects of my life would become more difficult. I mean, I wake up in the morning and feel a lot better than I used to. I live in a great city, I'm in great shape and I'm friends with some quality people. I still have the desire to create, but when I sit down at the end of the day I'm not sure what I want to make. I can still sit at a piano and write music, and I can still sit behind a computer and write, but the intense purpose behind my creation has been cut off.
While, at the moment, I might miss frantically binge-writing music, I'm aware that things won't stay the same way forever. So I should sit back and enjoy this period of tranquility before I am thrust into the world of post-collegiate uncertainty. For now I take solace in the fact that creativity is a long-term relationship. The initial honeymoon period of creative explosion is what pushes you to keep on creating in the long-run. So I will cherish those memories as I strive to create more along the way.
