I'm glad chivalry is dead. Waging endless war against the infidels gets tiring and sometimes I want to kick back in my slippers and watch "Orange Is the New Black".
There, I made the mandatory "Chivalry was an ancient code of combat" joke are you happy? Can I continue?
As I'm sure we've all heard at some point "Chivalry is dead. There are no real men anymore. Blah blah blah blah blah." Well allow me to shed some light on why this is a good thing.
First off, sorry to break any bubbles, but the general male population will more or less meld into whatever culture women deem acceptable for dating. 60 years ago it was being a straight edged bread winner, 40 years ago it was about being a counter- cultural rebel, and now it's about being a loud, peacock-ing tool and that's not our fault. I guarantee you that if tomorrow, every single woman decided that they would only start dating bookish introverts then every single tank top wearing frat bro would immediately ditch his attire and attitude for a poetry book and turtleneck. The problem with that said scenario though is it wouldn't be real. How does a girl tell whether the shy introverted guy that was the decided upon ideal man was a real shy introvert or just some dude melding with society in order to be attractive to women?
True there was a time when chivalrous acts were considered the normal standard for men but the truth is there were a lot more fake chivalry. Men held doors because it's what got them a second date, men bought flowers because it got them a kiss, men stood up for their woman because it got them into bed. Not because any of those things were the right thing to do, but because there was an ulterior goal.
However, and here's where it matters ladies, you should be rejoicing that chivalry is dead because that means it's no longer the norm. So when you meet a guy that gives you flowers, holds open doors, and stands up for you it's not for some ulterior societal motive. What you found is true blue honest to goodness chivalry and although it may be harder to find, that's because there's a lot less fakers out there.
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Luckily, many colleges offer a number of ways to take part in campus and community life, without forcing you to dedicate all of your time to these organizations. Here are a few ideas!
1. Look into Housing and Dining.
Many first-year students start off college life in residence halls, and the Housing & Dining network throughout campus often provides multiple opportunities for students throughout the year. Many buildings have student community councils that work to create policies and events that make the dorms a more welcoming home for residents. Becoming a community assistant (or the students who work the desks at the front of many halls) is another easy way to have a consistent, well-paying job only minutes away from your room.
If you really enjoyed your housing experience, consider applying to be an RLA, or, if the school offers it, help to teach the first-year community. You'll get the chance to help support new and returning students over the year, and many of these positions also cover major costs like board and meal plans.
2. Pay attention to campus postings.
This advice is more obvious, but it still gets overlooked a fair amount. Even on a busy day, taking the time to stop around campus and look at the flyers advertising clubs and events can draw your attention to something that you never would've noticed otherwise. Students on many campuses also chalk the sidewalk to catch students' attention while they walk to class. Just make sure that the event you're interested in hasn't taken place already!
3. Find common interest groups.
One way to find friends and get involved is to focus on what you're passionate about. Have you always loved to sing? Do you enjoy playing video games? Is photography your favorite past-time? Have you always wanted to join Greek life? Whatever you love devoting your time to, chances are there are organizations around school who are focused on the same thing. Check the student life section of your university's website, or stop by a student organization fair at the beginning of the semester.
4. Join an intramural sports team.
If you're the athletic type, you've probably heard of intramural sports. Often offered through the Rec Center or the residence halls, most colleges often offer various indoor and outdoor sports to take part in throughout the year. Personal favorite? Mini golf.
5. Work on a cause that you care about.
Whether you're passionate about a political group, a social cause, or a religion, working with people who value beliefs similar to yours can be an easy way to meet people, get a better sense of your own identity, and promote causes that are important to you. Look into getting involved with College Democrats, Republicans, or whatever party that you belong to. Find a club that supports social issues, from women's rights to protecting the environment. If you're religious, look into student organizations based on your faith.
6. Join a club related to your major.
Even if you're not entirely sure what you want to do after school, finding a club or organization related to your field of studies can benefit you long after you leave the classroom. From career-related workshops to conferences to professional connections, these groups have a lot to boast.
7. Get an on-campus job.
If you have the time, need to work, or want to save a few extra dollars, finding a job on or near campus is a time-effective way to build up your bank account and gain work experience. Check in your residence hall (see #1), at local businesses and offices, or make an appointment with your school's career center.
8. Volunteer.
When you're caught up in school life, it can be hard to think about the bigger picture. Volunteering your time to people (or animals/an environment) in need puts things in perspective and allows you to feel good while making a positive difference. Check if your college town has a volunteer page, or look up local organizations requesting help.
Best of luck this year! Get out, and get busy.
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