What exactly is a free spirit? I'm sure the definition changes from person to person. But for me, it means that I think for myself. I listen to others and observe my surroundings and then form my own opinion. I love understanding people. I love learning about others and their lives. I feel like it gives me a better outlook. I don't pay much attention to what people think I should do. I do things because I want to. That's not to say that I don't care about other people. I really do care. I just think that sometimes, a lot of times, people are wrong... including myself. It just depends. I constantly test life's limits and boundaries. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn't. But I have fully accepted that failure is just as important as success and that has taken a lot of fear out of me. Either way, I use every risk as a learning experience. And I love my life. I love the way I live my life.
I think that when people hear "free spirit" they think of women with flower crowns at some musical festival. But that's so not what it's about. It has nothing to do with what we wear or look like or eat or what we believe in or how many people we have sex with. That is all irrelevant.
Being a free spirit means that whether you believe in God or Allah or nothing, I'm going to show you love and compassion. If you eat no meat or all meat, I'm going to listen to you. If you wear clothes that cover every inch of your body or clothes that cover just enough to be allowed in public places, I'm going to love you and respect you.
Being a free spirit also comes with the stigma that we don't get angry and don't cut people out of our lives. We're unbelievably forgiving because that's what love is, right? Well, no, not really. We get angry. Everyone gets angry. If someone tells you that they have never felt anger, they are lying. It is a natural, normal feeling that everyone has. When I do get angry, I can laugh about it. I can find the lesson, find the beauty, find the humor, in all of it.
And we definitely cut people out of our lives. One of the biggest parts of being a free spirit is loving yourself. It doesn't mean being cocky or conceited. Just that you love your body, you love your mind, you forgive yourself for the mistakes you make, and so much more. And part of loving yourself is removing toxic people and negative vibes from your life. It's how you choose to remove those things that's important. We're aware that although someone may not be good for your life, they could be crucial to another person's life. Not everything is about you, but your life is.
When it comes down to it, it's really just about loving each other. It's about understanding that everyone is different and appreciating everyone. It's about knowing that not everyone is meant for you and that is okay. It's about learning what matters and what doesn't. Whenever I find myself in a bad situation, I think of my sister's advice, "Is it really going to matter in five years?" It's simple and seems a little sassy, but it puts everything in perspective for me. I find that most of the time, it won't matter in 5 years. It's the simplest way to move on and be happy. Most of all, it's about living a life full of color, love, and happiness. And the only way to do that is with each other.
So why do I get judged? I wish I could give a concrete answer but all I have is speculations. Occasionally, I get judged by people who feel like I have taken something from them, whether it be a boyfriend or a job or something else. Looking at it as a regular person, I'm sure there are feelings of jealousy and hatred. But we understand that everything happens for a reason. One door closes so another can open. I could never blame someone else for "taking something from me".
A lot of the time, I get judged by other girls. I've found that girls who have high-self esteem are less likely to say anything mean. The girls who are confident, proud, and love themselves tend to be supportive as long as they know I'm causing no harm. I understand having low self-esteem and I know it can be hard, but bringing down other girls is not going to make you any more confident. Trying to bring down other girls is a fast track to a lot of enemies and loneliness, which only furthers your low-self esteem. Try to focus on loving yourself rather than judging or hating others for what they choose to do with their body, their clothes, their words, their social media accounts, etc. Again, the only life that revolves around you, is yours.
Most of the things I get judged for have to do with my clothes. I love my body and I'm not afraid to show it off. I wear leggings. I wear crop tops. I wear shorts. I wear bikinis at the beach and to the pool. And I have curves. People are sincerely bothered by the fact that I have big boobs and a big butt. But my issue with that, is that it isn't their boobs or their butt. It's my body and I'm allowed to dress it how I want. (And that goes for everyone. Everyone can choose to wear whatever they would like and that is okay. It's astonishing to me how many people think that they have control over what I wear.)
My best friends are just like me. We have a non-judgmental friendship where anything and everything can be talked about. We can discuss the horrible or great thoughts we have, the self-esteem issues we encounter, the mistakes we make, etc. in a safe environment. I truly wish everyone could experience the kind of friendship I have with them. But the longer you fill yourself with judgment and hate, the longer you hold yourself from the greatest type of friendship in the world.
Point is, free spirits aren't what you think. We aren't anything specific. We don't wear certain types of clothes or say certain things or act a certain way. We're athletes, musicians, actors, writers, cops, therapists, and so much more. We're the ones who won't judge you. We're the ones who will love you even when you don't love us.
