You know, I find it funny how life works in our favor. It’s even more amusing when it doesn’t work in our favor because if you’re able to find the humor in life, it goes by much smoother. I have personally found that laughing my way through life is so much healthier than other emotions we could feel towards certain situations. When I was a teenager, I struggled with my weight so much and so hard. I won’t lie; it felt like a roller coaster ride that I couldn’t get off of. One day I felt great and then the next, I would come crashing down because reality hit me that I was what society refers to as “fat.” In all honesty, I hate the “F-word” because it’s so stereotypical and just down right hateful.
Struggling with weight is hard, but even more difficult when you’re a young teenager in this crazy world. Thankfully, with the help of a personal trainer that happened to be a former marine, I was able to overcome my youthful pains and gains and drop over 100 pounds in less than nine months. Crazy, right? That’s the term of a pregnancy! To think I lost the weight of an adolescent in the same time it takes for a baby to be brought into this world, still blows my mind to this day. I find the humor in this because I still remember all the moments when I cursed out my trainer, who happened to be like a big brother to me. Let’s just say, cursing him out ended up working out more in my favor because even though I hated him in that moment, he helped me reach my goals. At the time though, cursing him out meant more push-ups, and I didn’t think about it then, but it’s what indirectly made me stronger.
It’s so important to find humor in the most painful of days because it helps you get through. I still laugh to this day about the memories I made with my trainer. My parents were and still are my biggest supporters, but my mom would argue that she is my greatest cheerleader. Maybe I should get her a set of pom-poms for Christmas this year. Just a thought. Being 16 years-old and having this new body was an unforgettable experience. Not to mention the surgery I would have shortly after to finish off my hard work.
See, when I was younger and yes I still consider myself young at 29, although some would try to argue that I’m archaic now, my weight had covered up an issue that I didn’t know I had. My breasts didn’t develop properly, so one was always bigger than the other. However, being overweight covered that up because it made it less noticeable. It wasn’t until I had lost all this weight that I really began to notice this huge difference in size. I mean, what girl wants uneven boobs? So, with the suggestion of my pediatrician, my parents and I pursued plastic surgeons for reconstruction. Eventually, we found “the one” who changed my future forever.
While at first the plastic surgeon was not keen on doing breast reconstruction with implants on a teenager, he did understand my situation and agreed something had to be done in my favor. So, surgery day came and I was filled with a mixture of thoughts and emotions. Sure, it was scary going under anesthesia for the first time, not knowing what to expect, but I was going to wake up with new boobs, so my excitement overrode my fears. Having new and “even” boobs was such a good feeling! I finally felt like a normal woman. Little did I know that the surgeon saved my life, which turned out to be even better!
Who would have thought that at 16 years-old, new boobs and a phenomenal surgeon would have saved my life and changed my future? Well, apparently I the reason why I didn’t develop properly was because I had damaged scar tissue in one of my breasts. The surgeon removed 80% of my tissue and said that it would have likely turned to cancer by the time I was 22 years-old. Scary, right? So now I’m this huge advocate of breast cancer awareness and saving the lives of others. But, that’s a different story. So, along with the new boobs, I had this new body and I finally wasn’t the “F-word.” It didn’t matter to me that I had to go through hell to get to this point because I fought through that hell.
Fast-forward a few years and I moved to North Carolina from Florida with my family to start a new life. However, when I saw my new physician for the first time and had a physical, the blood work came back abnormal and once again my life changed, forever. I was diagnosed with a severe hypothyroidism that turned out to be an autoimmune disease of the thyroid. You know what the perks and benefits are of having this life-long disease is? Weight gain and extreme fatigue, along with a long list of other ailments that I won’t get into are the exciting things we fighters get to deal with!
So, once again, let’s fast forward a decade and you’ll find me sitting here writing this article at 29 years-old feeling 129 years-old. Since my diagnosis with the autoimmune disorder, Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, I have easily gained a lot of weight. No, I won’t divulge the numerical value, but you don’t have to call me Dumbo the elephant either. There is absolutely no relation whatsoever! That was meant to make you laugh. So, while society now likely classifies me as the “F-word, “I don’t see myself as such. See, when you’ve been on the roller coaster I have, and fought the battles I have, you learn your self-worth.
I fight more battles today than I did a decade ago and that’s okay. Now, I wear purple proudly because I am a fibromyalgia warrior. Pink is excitedly rocked throughout the month of October because its breast cancer awareness month. Although I totally dislike paisley, I admit that I would confidently wear blue paisley for thyroid awareness too. But what you probably don’t realize is, I wear colors with confidence. I don’t hide behind the color black because it makes me look thinner. Nope. Color is my thing and I have no shame in my game!
In 13 years I have learned so much about myself and society that I could probably and should, write a book about it. If you have been in my shoes, you will understand that society isn’t the kindest or most accepting of “F-word” people. Yet, if you’re thin and attractive, the world is yours for the taking! It’s unfortunate, but true. Do you know how many people have told me that someone has told them, something along the lines of, “Once you lose this weight, you’ll have a good life.” That is just asinine to say to someone, right? Can I get an “amen” up in here? Who’s to say you can’t be overweight and having the time of your life? Society is continually getting worse as I get older and it still blows my mind over a decade later. In fact, I still can’t believe I had to describe my life with the term "decades."
You know what though? Even when I was thin and healthier, people still judged me. I was told so many times that I needed to eat more, “Put some meat on those bones,” and that I was too thin. Realistically, I wasn’t too thin, but because I’m tall for a woman, I looked thinner than what the scale said. Confidence radiated from me, but I still struggled with society even then. Sure, I supposedly had the world at my fingertips, but I’m sorry people. I still have the world at my fingertips no matter what I look like and so do you! See, it doesn’t matter what society says about appearance because in the end, it doesn’t matter what other people think. What matters is what you think and you alone. Look at the bigger picture and you will see that no matter what you look like, society will always have something to say about you.
So, my fellow friends stand up for yourself and know your worth. Don’t give a damn what society has to say about you because you will never fully satisfy them. If people don’t like you at your worst, then they certainly do not deserve you at your best. Continue to do your best for you and you alone. Write your story and share it for all to read! Get on that roller coaster ride of life because you never know how it will end or just begin. For those that judge you, forget them. They aren’t worthy of your fabulousness! Continue to shine bright, my beautiful people. You’re lovely just the way you are.
