This is my battle cry. Hear me loud and clear. I don't want a wedding.

I'm aware that I'm fighting a losing battle because of the culture I live in. I'm aware that some girls spend their childhood years dreaming of white weddings and dainty cake toppers and champagne toasts and tin cans attached to the "Just Married" car. But I am not those girls. I will fight this battle until it kills me because I don't want this stupid wedding.

Here's how it happened. Promises like "it's your day, honey, and you can have whatever you want at your wedding" turned into people vetoing every idea of mine. I realized after the first week of the engagement that I didn't have any say in this stupid ceremony.

I realized that my wedding will, in fact, perpetuate every possible traditional norm you could ever think of. And I absolutely hate tradition. Picture a bridal magazine having a baby with your single cousin's desperate Pinterest boards. It's my worst nightmare.

What does a wedding accomplish that a courthouse ceremony can't do? Why can't my fiance and I just take a weekend trip to Niagara Falls to elope like Jim and Pam did? Everyone has become so obsessed with this cookie-cutter wedding concept that they've forgotten what love is about. It also seems like they've forgotten about me, and it really hurts.

Yes, I love my fiance. No, I don't need to show up in a white dress, order overpriced invitations, or say "I do" in front of a bunch of people to prove my love for him. I'm sorry if that's your opinion of what a marriage is. I'm sorry if you believe that a marriage won't last unless X number of fancy, expensive, and traditional rituals all occur at the right time and place in front of a large audience of people.

I feel really bad for you if that is your perception of love. And I hope you realize those wedding rituals were invented by humans, and they can just as easily be rejected and stomped on and burned to the ground by other humans.

Love is simple. Love is perfect. This wedding is anything but those things. And I need you to realize how trapped and invisible and unimportant this situation has made me feel.

All I've learned from this entire process is that I am not powerful. I have no say in my personal life. My relationship wasn't "official" until my boyfriend proposed to me. My ideas for the wedding are so insignificant that nothing I've suggested will ever take place in my lifetime.

Apparently, people assume that I'm not equipped to make my own choices for this wedding. And it hurts me everywhere. It hurts my soul. It hurts my self-image. It hurts my perception of my romantic relationship.

Gee, if I'm not allowed to make the tiniest of decisions about one stupid 4-hour ceremony, what will I be allowed to do as an adult? I probably don't even have to answer that, because I'm confident that you've got the picture by now.

If you're listening, take heart. I would pee my pants with joy and cry my eyes out with relief if you told me we could start all over. Start from scratch. If this truly is my wedding, start by giving me a say. Start by listening to what I say. Just because I've said "yes" to your suggestions does not mean that I am happy about them. I said "yes" because I didn't want to cause a scene. I said "yes" because I had no choice.

If things don't change, I promise you I will find a getaway car and disappear from the venue before the ceremony even starts. I promise you I will climb out the bathroom window if that is what it takes to help you realize how stupid and juvenile and childlike this entire wedding is.

I guess I'll be holding my breath for the next five months.