The inspiration for this piece is well, my life in a nutshell. After a 10 to 6 shift at a minimum wage job that I'm not proud of, I got home and changed into my pajamas. Then I realized I had a couple of bills to pay and one that needed immediate attention. I called the 800 number and payed my bill like any "responsible adult". All the while I was in my Spider-Man pajamas. After hanging up, I realized the hilarity of the scene and the out-dated concept of "being an adult", especially in this economic state. I can't believe I'm nearly 25 with a bachelor's degree and I still live at home, don't have my own car, or have a job worth talking about. I'm honestly ashamed of myself. However, when I talk with my friends, many are in similar situations and I don't feel so badly about my situation. Yet I still feel awkward admitting my situation. I just feel like a loser.
It shocks me to think that the American Dream is still such an esteemed ideal to seek for the youth of America today. As far as I'm concerned, "the American Dream" is long dead and gone. Yet, no one has dreamt up a new one to replace the old one. When I scroll though my social media feeds, all I see are people in their 20's lamenting about the fact that they can't find a job that meets their skill level, must work multiple jobs to make ends meet, or can't be financially independent. It's gotten to the point of such ridiculousness that most 20-somethings see our lives as a joke and use our jaded humor to make stabs at how this generation has to deal with being the most highly educated generation and the most underpaid at the same time. I too have taken to dark humor to cope with these feelings of failure and inadequacy. What I'm trying to say is that it's quite sad that many 20-somethings have to struggle so much so early in life. This is the time when we should be able to financially support ourselves, live in our place, have a car, and most of all have fun. Alas that is the exception, no longer the rule.
All of this makes me wonder, what constitutes as adulthood these days? Many of the standards of adulthood that fit pervious generations are only glimmers of hope for many millennials. What was once a given right is now an unreachable standard. By my age, my parents had their own places to live, were able to pay all of their bills on time, had jobs that they liked, and had their own cars. Given, my parents met in the late 1970's and it was a very different world back then. Today, I can't even being to even imagine having such success and independence.
Here are the "adult" things I do on any given day: I pay my own bills, I go to work, I go to the bank, I take care of all of the pets, I do all of the housework and grocery shopping, and I do whatever else that my mom asks of me. I often feel like a teenager rather than an adult. I say this because I have the security of a home, however, it's under my mother's roof. So I still have to "play by her rules" which vexes me since I am no longer a small child. That alone makes me question my "adultness". However, instead of being stuck in the house all of the time, I now can go out on my own without my mother objecting (too much). I feel like I'm living the dream life of my adolescence yet falling very short on my adulthood dreams. It's very strange. It's a constant pull between feeling like a failure, yet still being able to go do some of the things you like to do because you're now "old enough" to go do them. I can't decide if this is a small consolation prize for the larger issue here. I feel stuck. I'm burned out from writing countless cover letters and going to endless interviews without results.
How can I be an adult if I still live at home and wear Spider-Man pj's? How can I possibly be of legal age to vote for President, serve on a jury, or go to war for my country? How is it that because of my age, I am considered "useful" to society and my government when I don't even know if I'll be able to afford health insurance after I'm too old to be on my mom's plan? How can I do any of these things yet I can't seem to get out of this rut that plagues all of us? Being an adult is terrifying these days. It's the uncertainty of everything. We have no idea what we're doing, we can't plan for our futures, especially when we're squeaking by day to day. The argument that millennials are "lazy" and "brats" is ludicrous. Believe me, if we could find positions that paid well, had regular hours, good health benefits, 401K, and we didn't have to commute 2 hours one way to get there, we'd be there. However, there aren't that many entry level positions that offer that and forget about even getting paid at anotherinternship. We're only human and we can only do so much.
To reiterate my question (which I hope sparks discussion), what makes us "adults" in this modern society? Is it because we pay bills? Is it because we work our asses off getting nowhere fast? Is it because we move back home and help around the house? Or is it because we realize that we're essentially screwed and we don't know how to get started on a solution? I hope this article makes you think and reflect upon your successes and failures and even share your stories.
Take care. Much love.
