So I’ve just been really frustrated about this lately…so what’s a better choice than to air this frustration than over the internet? But really, though.

Young women like myself are given a lot of grief for being strong, confident, and outspoken. We’re told that we “scare the men” off when we know what we want. We’re told that being smart isn’t what’s going to make us attractive to men. I’ve been told that I’m “too outspoken” for my “own good”. This is on top of all the things we are told by society. Things like “you’d be pretty if your glasses didn’t take up half your face” or “you’d look nice if you were skinnier”.

…and I want to yell “SHUT. UP.”

I’ve always identified with Hermione Granger from Harry Potter. Smart, sassy, and not conventionally good-looking, she is confident in herself, increasingly as the series progresses, and knows what she wants. She isn’t afraid of men. In fact, she leads them. People constantly try to tell her how she’d be better, and you can tell that it hurts her. Hermione wasn’t out to get a man. Men were not the biggest thing on her mind. (Still kinda mad she ended up with Ron, but that’s for a different article).

My job in this world is not to be attractive to men. My job in this world is to live life and make my mark. This means that I can have glasses that take up half my face because they make me look cute. It means that I can love my body for what it looks like. My job in this world is to be outspoken in order to change it. If I scare men off, that’s not my problem. If they’re not scared off by me, then I will decide whether or not they are worth my time. If a man is worth my time, he should honestly take that as a compliment, because I’m a woman who knows what she wants.

My job isn’t to make myself someone’s wife. Eventually, it would be nice to settle down and start a family, but why would I want to do that now. Imagine if it was a requirement for one to settle down right away. The world would be a disaster.

So, my strong, confident, outspoken sisters, whether you have no ex, one ex, or multiple exes, know that you are still desired by someone…and you can choose to give them the time of day. We don’t need to settle down just yet. It’s women like us who can change the world.