People have always labeled me as "quiet" -- and have quickly blamed it on my "shyness." And for as long as those words have been used to describe me, I have hated them. Whenever one is uttered, I want to shout. I want to scream at the top of my lungs and tell everyone that they are wrong. Because I am not quiet.
All of my life, I've been unfairly branded. "Quiet" and "shy" are the wrong words. But what is the right word?
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Introverted. I am an introvert.
As I say this to you now, I breathe a sigh of relief. It's not an easy thing to admit. When we consider what makes an introvert, we often wrongly assume it means someone who has a general dislike for other people. We equate "introverted" to terms like "quiet" and "shy" and "awkward" and "reserved."
And that couldn't be more wrong.
We have been told time and time again that being introverted in today's social world is a bad thing. But I say being an introvert isn't something we should have to be ashamed of. Just because we are different -- maybe not as outwardly social as the extrovert sitting next to you -- doesn't mean we should be treated any differently, or cared for any less.
You may ask, what makes an introvert?
Well, first off, we’re not quiet -- not always. We can be loud. We can make jokes. We can be silly. We can shout and scream and cry. We can let out our feelings. But for most introverts, those moments are rare. And if you are lucky enough to share one of those moments with an introvert, then consider yourself special.
We listen more than we talk. We notice every detail; we might not tell you right away, but we are quick to pick up on sarcasm and eye rolls, and we read body language incredibly well.
We’re not unhappy and we do not dislike you. Just because we are not constantly reassuring you we are having a good time or that we like you as a person does not make it untrue. Internally, we’re having the time of our lives and we think you’re pretty awesome, most of the time.
We think before we speak. We have thoughts and opinions, but we choose to keep them to ourselves. We do not throw our ideas around freely, because once we say them, they're not ours anymore. And we like our thoughts in our heads. When we do speak, we want it to mean something.
We fear small talk, but we love meaningful conversation. The weather and traffic are topics that make us cringe, but we can talk endlessly about your grandmother's illness or your last breakup or about the fate of humanity.
We enjoy parties and crowded bars and getting to know strangers, but after a while, we long for solitude. We can't wait to crawl into bed after a long day; sometimes all we want is to curl up with a fuzzy blanket and a good book. We love people, but we don't harbor a constant fear of missing out -- it’s just not our style.
And we prefer to devote our energy to the people we care about most. Our relationships are special to us, and if we chose to let you in, or if you care enough to break down our walls, you will find that we are worth it.
Getting to know an introvert is in no easy process. But my advice to you is to do it. It's worth it; I promise. Because the truth is we are people with beautiful minds and hearts and souls. It just takes some digging to find that out.
