Being An Easy Cryer Doesn't Make You Weak | The Odyssey Online
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Just Because I Cry Easily Doesn't Mean I'm Trying to Manipulate You

I don't want to be known as "the crier," but I also don't want to be ashamed of it.

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Just Because I Cry Easily Doesn't Mean I'm Trying to Manipulate You
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I cry over everything. I cried during Wreck-It Ralph (yes, you read that correctly). I cried when my favorite character from Harry Potter died (but really - who didn't?). These are all trivial and quirky things that can be forgotten with a laugh.

I cry when I really shouldn't. I cried when I received negative feedback multiple times from a supervisor. I cried after getting a bad grade (in front of my professor). Some of these things happened months ago, yet I still ruminate over them because they're so embarrassing. When I start crying, I can't stop. I can't really hold back the tears. They just flow. It's my emotional nature. I also don't do a great job of voicing how I'm feeling, so I let my feelings build up until I explode.

This looks really bad on me. It makes me seem like I'm unstable and can't handle feedback. It makes me seem like I don't know how to fail.

Guess what? I've failed multiple times, and I've cried every time. It never gets easier, but I deal with it. I give my all on everything I do, so of course, I'm disappointed when I hear something I don't want to hear or get a result that I don't want to get.

I wish people understood that my tears aren't manipulative. I'm not trying to make you feel sympathy for me. I want you to ignore my tears. They are a reflection of the stress I've gone through to be where I am right now. When I cry, I am frustrated that my efforts weren't good enough. When I cry, I wish you knew the reason behind the tears. I'm not trying to make you feel bad for me. Don't ask me why I'm upset. I can't explain it because I'm crying.

When I cry in front of people of authority, I just want to walk out. I want to pretend it never happens. I'm thankful my professors and supervisors are nice people and don't think much of it, they know I am under a lot of stress and prone to boiling over. Still, I wish they knew that the tears mean nothing in terms of what I can do and who I am.

I don't want to be known as "the crier," but I also don't want to be ashamed of it. I don't want to go into a room and hold back tears because I don't want anyone to see me cry.

I am not weak. I am extremely strong.

You just don't know the hell my mind has been through to get there. Therefore, don't judge me for crying about my shortcomings.

I am growing. To my future boss, I will probably cry in front of you, but it's more about me than you. I am a hard worker who knows how to give it her all. I will never let you down, although I might let myself down.

I know it's not good to cry in front of people who send you your paycheck. Some of us can't help it though, or we're learning to suppress it. Stop judging us for crying (which we can't really control) and let us be.

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