I know this is different from my other articles but just hear me out
One of my good friends just got in trouble with my old high school for posting a free the nipple post on Instagram and was forced to take it down. Even though the post was clearly made as freedom of speech and for standing up for what she believes in. It was completely humiliating for her and after I heard that, I wanted to write this.
This isn’t an article saying “this law should be enforced and this one and this one and here’s why”. No, it’s not like that.
This is a reason why I’m a feminist.
I grew up in a small town in Massachusetts in a house full of women, my sister, my mom, and my grandmother (the only other male being my father) and being in that household, the main thing I was taught was how to be respectful and a gentleman. From kindergarten to right now I would say about 75% of my friends are female, and yes I care deeply about all of them.
That being said, there have been occasions where my female friends have been looked down upon by society, abused, sexually harassed, humiliated, and even have to be sent home after violating the dress code which I will get in to soon.
And after all of that, it still breaks my heart because this is the society that we live in. The society that says “it’s okay for man to sleep with a ton of girls, but if a girl sleeps around with a ton of men yeah she’s a slut” or “maybe if she hadn’t been wearing that she wouldn’t have been raped” or “no means yes”.
It makes me depressed.
It makes me depressed to hear these news stories of rapists (whether it would be a man or a woman) not getting his or her time in jail even though they completely fucked up the life of the person they raped. They have to live with the fact that they have been violated sexually and it’s humiliating to them. It doesn’t make it any better for them when society says “you shouldn’t have worn such revealing clothing”. Ok, don’t try to blame the victim here. The victim did not plan to get raped. The rapist planned to rape because that person thought he could get away with it.
Let me be clear. SEX IS SUPPOSED TO BE CONSENSUAL!!!! It’s not a one person decision so if they say no it doesn’t mean “yes please take my virginity” it means no. In my life, I have had friends who are female come crying to school because their boyfriends had attempted or successfully raped her. And after hearing all that, I was in complete distraught and I wanted to help out as much as I could, even though there wasn’t much for me to do.
Please do not take anyone for granted like that. Anyone who thinks that rape is okay, clearly don’t know that it’s actually frightening. Once you raped someone, you don’t just fuck them, you fuck with their mental health. Because they’re going to have to live with that anxiety and depression for the rest of their lives.
As for dress code. Yeah, it sucks. I can recall several times where a boy in my school would have a lot of skin showing by simply wearing a revealing shirt (which was intentional I might add), but if a female, no matter how old they are, if a single inch of skin is revealed even shoulders. It’s blasphemous. Think about that. Boys can wear whatever they want, while girls really have to try hard to not violate the dress code. In what universe is that fair?
I’ve heard several stories from females who went to my school about how they were constantly in trouble for the dress code and had to be sent home because they were “distracting the boys”, do you know how humiliating that is? First off, it’s pretty much saying if you can’t do this then you don’t get an education, oh but the boys can do anything they want and get an education.
That’s bullshit.
Also, in regards to relationship abuse, listen. There is no “dominant species” a relationship shouldn’t have to rely on who gets whose way. No a relationship relies on love. If you are in a relationship you should NEVER raise your hand to your partner or force him or her to do things that they might not want to do. And if an argument happens, try to talk it out without the use of violence or emotional abuse. It’s not that hard. It’s called being RESPECTFUL. There’s that word again.
Let me make this clear, women shouldn’t have to go through relationship abuse, and neither should men. A relationship has no dominant species. Relationship abuse is humiliating, terrifying, anxiety inducing, and depressing. Yet, we tend to look down upon the man or woman who has been abused.
I’m just tired of having to live in a society like this. Women should have the same amount of rights as men do. It’s not that hard to realize that. It makes me upset knowing that I know people that have been through this and if I ever have a future daughter, I don’t want her to live like that. And I’m aware that everything I say applies to both genders.
No, rape is never okay so don’t act like it is.
No, the dress code isn’t fair, so don’t say “oh it’s there for a reason”
No, the person being abused in a relationship should not be looked down upon, the abuser should.
We are a broken society. It’s time to fix it.