I met Ben* on Tinder.
I had been using Tinder sparingly for about a year, but it was this past summer when I really started to use it and strike up conversations with guys who seemed like they weren’t just looking for hookups.
I matched with Ben in July, but we never interacted with each other until the end of September. I posted a picture of one of my favorite songs by The Story So Far, and Ben messaged me that it was one of his favorites too. That sparked a lengthy conversation about music that lasted most of the night until I fell asleep. Within that conversation, we realized there were a lot of other things we had in common, and that we only lived a couple towns away from each other.
I really liked Ben. He had a good work ethic, which you don’t find a lot with people around my age anymore. He worked full time during the day and held a second job at night as well. He played guitar. He liked to stay in, but occasionally he went out with his friends. We were eerily similar.
When we realized that we lived about 10 miles from each other, we made plans to hang out one day. He even worked by my college, which happened to be the same school his mother went to. So we decided we were definitely meant to be friends.
About a month went by of constant texting and snapchatting each other funny pictures of me at school or him at work. I’d tell him to have a good day at work and he’d ask me how my day was or how homework was coming along.
It was a Saturday night when we finally made plans to hang out with each other. Since we both loved music so much, we agreed on going for a drive and listening to our favorite bands. I even made a playlist, which we both laughed about. Mix tapes don’t exist anymore.
“When we take that music drive we gotta make a stop at IHOP,” he said.
I offered to drive, because I knew he was exhausted after work, and well, I really love driving anyway. I got to his house and let him know that I was there.
I’m usually really nervous before any kind of date, but with Ben, I wasn’t. Maybe it was because I had talked to him for a long time before we met up with each other. Maybe it was because it felt like we had been friends for years instead of just two people who randomly matched on a dating app.
When I saw him walking up, my heart kind of smiled. I don’t know if it was really a romantic feeling, I was just really happy to finally see him. He grinned back, and my heart smiled harder.
We didn’t kiss or hug hello, we just kind of sat there smiling at each other until we decided where we should head off. I started my playlist, asking him how work was and if he liked any of the songs I chose.
“Yeah, who’s this playing?”
“It’s 'All the While' by Pentimento.” I informed him.
We were quiet for a little bit, just making small conversation, but it wasn’t an awkward silence, and that’s what I really liked about Ben. I hate awkward pauses. But nothing was difficult with Ben. It felt like I had known him forever. It was comfortable. I have never laughed so much with anyone before.
Halfway through our drive, he played some of his music. We had a fun guessing game of which old school band was playing. He showed me a ton of great music, a lot of which I added to the playlist I had made for that night.
It was at this time, probably around one in the morning, when the most perfect moment happened in my life.
“Do you like Neck Deep?” I asked curiously, peering over at him. If you love The Story So Far, you usually love Neck Deep, but I just wanted to make sure.
“Definitely.” He played his favorite song for me.
It happened to be my favorite, too.
“I’m really bad at singing, but I love to sing, so don’t judge my voice,” he warned me jokingly.
His voice was actually perfect.
We drove on back roads and he put on one of my favorite songs on without knowing it, and I couldn't fathom how someone I barely knew could connect with me on such a deep level that people I’ve known my entire life have never managed to reach. And then we cranked the volume and screamed the lyrics at the top of our lungs and crossed harmonies, and I fell in love for that fleeting moment. But I knew we weren't soul mates, and that years down the road, I wasn't going to end up being his wife or the love of his life.
As it got later, we decided to go to Wawa. He bought us milkshakes; mint chocolate chip and a vanilla. We went back to the parking lot to sit in my car while we listened to more music and talked about our likes and dislikes. It was like a scene out of some indie movie.
I made fun of him for loving Never Shout Never, and he teased me about liking One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer. He played me Christofer Drew, and I laughed because I thought it was so silly he could love ukulele music when he also loved bands like Code Orange and Suicide Silence.
“Want to watch cartoons?”
I got a little uneasy about that. It was one step away from "Netflix and chill." But I figured I could use the excuse that it was late if things turned to that direction. We got back to his house and sat on the couch.
He really just wanted to watch cartoons. We sat on his couch with our feet up and watched "Steven Universe" and "The Amazing World of Gumball."
I couldn’t stop laughing that night. My cheeks actually hurt from smiling so much.
It was an hour or two later that I looked over, and poor Ben was asleep. I knew that he was always working constantly, and didn’t want to wake him up. I tapped his shoulder, and after a few tries he woke up groggily and I told him that I hoped he would have a good day at work, which was just in a couple of hours.
And I left. That was it. There was no second date. No relationship. We never talked again, and that was okay. Things didn’t end on a bad note.
But we never did make it to IHOP.
And every time that that Neck Deep song comes on when I’m driving, well, I'll still sing for you, Ben.
*Name has been changed
