"She had a gypsy soul and a warrior spirit. She made no apologies for her wild heart. She left normal and regular to explore the outskirts of magical and extraordinary. And she was glorious." — Michelle Rose Gilman
If you are anything like me, chances are, you are very used to having a lot of "almosts." Guys that meet you and are almost immediately swept away by everything you appear to be. Confident. Happy. Honest. Emotionally stable. Affectionate. Friendly, fun, supportive, patient. And all things start off in this magical honeymoon phase of finding all the things about each other that make you stay up all night, wanting to learn every nitty gritty detail of this person. Finding all the lovely things is what makes people work through the not-so-lovely things, once those show their ugly rear.
If you are anything like me, you've heard all the nightmarish stories of women that don't let their guys talk to other females, who accuse them of talking to other women if they don't reply fast enough, who need to be by their man every second of the day or the day is wasted. And you aren't like that. Oh you're not perfect, hell no. You're super depressed and bitchy when you're PMSing, and your way of flirting is telling him he's an idiot, and you can be super lazy and kind of a slob.
But you don't appear to be psycho or have issues, and guess what, that scares a lot of guys. Even more so when they find out that you're independent, ambitious, and are completely unstoppable. They want a spark, but you're the whole damn fire aren't you? Along with your positive qualities, you have expectations and standards. You ask the bold questions and have the uncomfortable conversations, with the best of intentions. You're shooting for the moon in everything you do, including your choice of a partner.
And so they leave. Poof. And then here's what they say in that moment, or when they come back around a few months or years later.
"It's not you, it's me."
"I was never ready for you."
"I'm afraid you're just going to leave."
"What if I can't be that person for you?"
"My biggest fear is that one day, I'll come looking for you, and you'll be married with kids."
Yeah I've heard all of those, right down to the last one. Not all from the same person either. Let me tell you something sweetheart, you do not need to dim your shine for anyone who is too intimidated by it. You do not need to settle for less than what you want. You can make your needs known, and if it is too much for them, they're not enough for you. There is NOTHING wrong with you. There also isn't necessarily anything wrong with them- it's simply not the right fit, and that's okay.
Don't judge someone for being afraid. But don't feel compelled to lessen yourself and wait for them to muster up the courage to really start something with you. If they want you badly enough, nothing will keep them away.
