It is the very worst place to be. Those who go in rarely come out clean on the other side and most people end up disappearing like planes that enter the Bermuda Triangle. People avoid it at all costs like the plague. Anyone who has it seems to be shunned by those who don't, like the most deadly and contagious disease. Those who have it are followed by it closer than their own shadow. Those who have it want to get rid of it but can't. It's comparable to the world's strongest adhesive. It seems like a nuclear explosion must happen before the two atoms can be split apart. And in part, it's true. It's unhappiness.
When you first enter into a period of life of unhappiness, you aren't even aware of it. The skies can seem clear as day, the weather seems fine ahead, and all your systems are working. You're communicating well and keeping in touch with others, happily soaring through the sky on your way to your next destination. The blinders are on, so all you see is all things good and positive because that's how things are going. You don't see the storm that was brewing just out of eyesight.
Then suddenly it hits. There's a little rain and some thunder in the background, but nothing major yet. At first, you are confident that you will be fine. You've flown through storms before and this didn't seem like much to contend with. You keep your cool, but as time passes the storm just gets annoying. Your cool demeanor has melted into something of irritation, both at the storm and at the fact that somehow your destination seems to be going farther off your radar despite how confident you felt that you were heading the right direction. You complain to through your mic to those on the other side who assure you it'll pass soon.
Then there's rain, thunder, sleet, and basically any other kind of precipitation fathomable falling from the sky. Your annoyance grows. You go to complain even more through your mic, only to find there is no one still there on the other side. Your communication has gone dead. You realize you are alone in this storm, a realization that shakes you to your core. Just before it shuts down you see that your radar isn't even showing your destination anymore. You're in the completely wrong direction, flying aimlessly in a storm with no idea which way to go. Your confidence is cracked.
And then it hits.
After so much time in the terrible weather, you are struck down from the sky and crash land. It takes time to come to your senses again, but once you're awake all you want to do is get out.
The same thing is applicable for when you find yourself stuck in unhappiness. At first, it begins with a little rain that you don't see coming, but it turns into a larger problem when you ignore signs and focus on complaining. The storm gets bigger until it's undeniably looming, and right at that point is when it feels like you lose people. You begin to panic and fly around aimlessly trying to find where you were headed, trying to find a little bit of sunshine, all the while surrounded by dark clouds. You need and want someone, anyone, to help you out and tell you where to go or even just be there while you go through what you do.
Then comes the crash landing. Right when you think it can't get any worse, you're struck down. You hit rock bottom. You're at the lowest of low feelings. But it snaps you back. It may knock the breath out of you for a split second, but once you come back you want out. You want away from the negativity and the pain by any means possible. You pick yourself up by your bootstraps and dust yourself off. You will do anything it takes to get back to where you were because that was the safe space before any of this happened. You're no longer focused on where you were headed.
And that's what gets us every single time.
The problem is during the storm you focused on the wrong thing. The rain and the sleet took your attention away. Then complaining to your companion helped you focus even more on what wasn't important. The destination was important and a future permanence while the storm was unimportant and an unnecessary and temporary distraction. Your attention was no longer on the radar where it needed to be.
Not only were these issues, but once you crash landed you were still focused on what wasn't the goal. You wanted out, but only wanted to get back to safety, which only means you have to go through the storm a second time to get where you need to be. If you go back or focus on going back, that only means you have to deal with the same storm again and again. No growth ever happened where you're comfortable.
If you are stuck in unhappiness right now, if you are caught in the middle of your storm, if you are struggling to keep your head afloat, then focus ahead. Do not think of how happy you used to be before any of this happened. That is a trap meant to keep you in the same cycle over and over until you get dizzy in the head. You fool yourself into thinking you can never be that happy again and that everything that is happening right now is for the worst. It is okay to want to keep aspects of yourself from the past, or admire certain qualities you had, but not to dwell on them. You are capable of the same amount of happiness and great qualities now that you had been back then, and honestly probably greater. The more steps you take forward the more you pick up along the way and the more your happiness will grow.
If you are stuck in unhappiness right now, think about where you were going before the storm hit. Were you trying to pursue your dream of becoming a supermodel? Were you building a new invention in your mind? Were you trying to graduate high school or get to college or get into medical school? Once you figure out where you were going, figure out how to reroute. A destination never changes, only your directions to get there may when you take a wrong turn.
With where you are now, try to rid yourself of a negative mindset. Try to focus on the good things happening amidst the storm. Write five positive things that happened in your day. Think about all the things that make you happy and things you can do to make those things happen more in your life. Treat yourself. Think about where you're headed and how bright your future is. Remember you are not stuck in this place. Change bad habits, pick yourself up and dust yourself off, scream if you have to, and make sure you are headed forward, no matter how painfully slow it feels. The end result will be worth it.
No one ever got any farther by walking backward.
No one ever put anything behind them that they didn't first confront and walk past.
So confront where you are and how you got there. Make the changes that need to be made to get you going forward, and do it. As much as it feels like it, you are not stuck in unhappiness. It is merely a pit stop to get to where you're going. It's ugly and it's inconsequential and it'll only make your final destination that much prettier once you get there.
Go get glad girl.
