For the majority of my life, I've been hard pressed with ambitions to better myself as a person. In elementary school, I developed a longing to be kind to everyone. I staked kindness as my priority in character. In middle school, I worked hard to become the best equestrian I could be (#horsegirlforever). When horseback riding abruptly ended for me, I felt called to involvement in my high school and invested all my free time in clubs, sports, and my friends. I felt like each of these could pour into me and create a better version of myself.
While none of this bad, the majority of my thoughts over the past ten years of my life have been centered around improvement and bettering myself. I never stopped once to acknowledge how much I actually accomplished and the person I had become. I believe my thought processes over the past years of my life had drained me and stolen some joy out of everyday life.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely had many happy moments every day. But I think I could've had so much more joy in simply living if I had changed my perspective.
Last night, I read through all my old journals. I started journaling in my sophomore year of high school, so I had four years of growth, struggles, and memories to read through. These journal entries really put everything I had gone through in life up until this point into perspective. Hindsight is 20/20, but I found the reason for every season of life I had undergone through reading my old journals.
They made me realize that worry and stress are not worth mulling over. Circumstances are temporary, so why let them steal our joy? In the moment, struggles seem daunting. However, time does not stop for anything. Everything only lasts a season, and if we arm ourselves with this perspective, joy can be found in the simplicity of living.
After reading back through everything I had grown from, I realized that my current issues were not worth stressing over. I realized this because I know at some point in the future I will have conquered these stressors. And I know my future self would want me not to stress, but to enjoy the season.
I know this because I wish I could tell my past self not to stress.
We have this amazing opportunity to grow, to experience life, to meet people, to explore places, and to discover ourselves. This is all done through trials of many kinds, but none of which is worth giving up our joy.
I have this new perspective that I am excited about. I don't expect life to be perfect, and I don't expect to be free from difficulties. Nor do I expect everything to be sunshine and rainbows.
Nevertheless, I know everything only lasts for a season, and I know joy is deeper than a circumstantial emotion.
Life is exciting. We never know what is going to happen, who we are about to meet, or where we are going to end up. Let this excite you, too.
There is so much to look forward to, don't let this present season get you down. Find the joy even in your deepest valleys.
