I remember the day I learned how to drive. My dad drove me out to our friend’s dairy, made me sit in the driver’s seat, and told me to put our old SUV into reverse.
Reverse? Isn’t the whole point of driving learning how to go forward?
Nevertheless, my dad made me drive in reverse for over 15 minutes. I learned how to back up before I ever learned how to drive. This happened every time he and I practiced my driving. To this day, I roll my eyes when I think about it but I am now appreciative that he made me waste spend my time learning how to back up. Now, I can back up like a professional while simultaneously blocking out backseat drivers (thanks for that lesson too, Dad).
Overall, people don’t give enough credit to their parents or whoever teaches us to drive. It's hard working learning how to drive, but it's even more work teaching someone else how to drive. My dad was fortunate that he had a stellar student (me) but he did a good job teaching me how to become a safe and aggressive driver.
Yes, you read that right. A safe AND aggressive driver. Because if you’ve been anywhere near a roadway lately, you know that every idiot seems to be out on the road. And if you want to manage to get anywhere, you have to be aggressive in your intentions. Not aggressive enough to get caught in trouble by the police, but aggressive enough.
A few days ago, I was making a four-hour drive through the heart of California to Los Angeles. The drive was boring enough, until I approached LA. If you have been fortunate enough to drive in LA traffic, you know that it puts the term “defensive driving” in a whole new perspective. There are so many psychotic drivers on the road who shouldn’t be let anywhere near a set of keys. But for whatever reason, these people are operating a motor vehicle. I constantly had to avoid people weaving through traffic and people who thought it was a good idea to slam on their brakes because they saw a bug hit their windshield. I wish I were exaggerating.
Driving can be a lot of work. But if you know what you’re doing, it can be lots of fun. For all of you young 16 year-olds who just received your license, it’s easy to feel like you’re invincible behind the wheel.
You’re not.
I’ll be the first to admit that I was an overconfident driver. After I failed my first drivers test due to a technical issue (and a cranky DMV worker), I was convinced the world was over and I would never drive again. Two weeks later, when I actually passed my test, I forgot about my failure and thought I was the coolest person.
I became a cocky driver.
Thankfully, my cockiness eventually wore off and I learned how to actually drive. Driving is so much more than being able to put a car from park into drive and operating pedals. It becomes second nature to you over the years, but it takes a lot of work. That’s because everyone is teaching you incorrectly.
All of the “driving experts” teach that the best way to drive is to drive defensively. If you have your license, there’s no doubt that you’ve heard the term “defensive driving” at one point in your life. In theory, defensive driving is a great tactic. I use it all the time and it has always kept me safe. Unfortunately, defensive driving doesn’t get you anywhere.
Defense is the most important part of any game. A team without a defense is going to lose no matter what. Without a strong defense, teams have no opportunity to ever go on the offensive. Driving is like a game. Living in Los Angeles has taught me how to play the game, and how to play the game well. Everybody on the road is playing the same game as you are but it’s up to you to learn how to play the game better.
Read the road, read the drivers, and also read the road signs. Expect everyone else on the road to be complete and utter morons and be prepared for everything to go wrong.
L.A. drivers give me a few gray hairs every time I get out on the road, but I learn something new every time I drive.
I have learned that it is possible to watch someone put on their makeup while talking on the phone and driving 70 mph on the 405.
I have learned that it’s actually possible to go 70 mph on the 405.
I have learned that even if you go 10 miles over the speed limit in California, you’re still going too slowly.
I have learned that the cops never seem to catch the bad drivers, but they’ll get you for not using your blinker for long enough.
But most importantly, I’ve learned that driving is a skill that can only be learned through practice.
So for all of you who want to learn how to really drive, come to Los Angeles.
But please stay in the slow lane so I don’t have to deal with you as I speed by in the fast lane.