If You Think I'm A Man Hater, I'm Too Much Woman For You | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

If You Think I'm A Man Hater, I'm Too Much Woman For You

I'm one of those cool girls who like arguing, playing sports, and being un-feminine.

107
If You Think I'm A Man Hater, I'm Too Much Woman For You
Pexels

Please do not feel like what I'm about to say is an onslaught of outrage due to a society where women can fit into one box and one box only. This is an onslaught of outrage due to the fact that even though we live in 2017, it is more controversial to be groomed as a leader than to be groomed as a wife.

I am not attempting to be mean to men, or to my future husband, I promise. I just cannot subscribe to the idea that "Every relationship requires a masculine and a feminine energy to thrive."

According to Suzanne Venker, the writer of the book "The Alpha Female's Guide to Men & Marriage: How Love Works," women need to be feminine in order to make their relationships work. Because only women can be feminine...

The biggest problem I have with the excerpt of her book that was published on FoxNews.com, is that the title of the excerpt makes it seem that if you are an alpha female, you are not able to have a meaningful relationship with a man. By Venker's definition, alpha women are made in "large part due to women having been groomed to be leaders rather than to be wives...[they have] become too much like men. They’re too competitive. Too masculine. Too alpha."

First and foremost, I was not groomed to be a wife. I was not "groomed" at all if we really want to take terms back to the Victorian era. I grew up on skinned knees, softball glove and a loud Italian family that drew strength from the matriarchy. I won't apologize for my upbringing. I love the fact that I get more into sports than make-up (that doesn't mean I can't like make-up. You see how there can be more than one trope for people?) What I love, however, is not up to discussion for you. How I act is not up to discussion for you. My aspirations? You guessed it: not your decisions. Yes, you may play a part in that, but this is my life. We get one chance to accomplish in life what means the most. And as Lin Manuel-Miranda says "I am not throwing away my shot."

I'm not a man-hater. I am totally head-over-heels in love with my boyfriend. In our relationship, there is no feminine or masculine. We are people who like the same things, as well as each other. Actually, the first thing I told him was "If you can't keep up with my sass or intelligence, you might as well keep walking". Was that an act of Alpha Female Aggression? I don't know, maybe. Has my attitude changed since that conversation? Not in the least.

GASP.

Even though the Women's March was almost a month ago, I still hear people talking about how embarrassing those women are, how unbecoming it is to see women with signs like that, hats like that, dressed like that. It is not your job to tell other people to do. Your way...is not the highway when it comes to society. There are such things as basic human rights.

Venker's article continues on to discuss what men love, what they don't love and what attributes men find attractive. The article reads like an editorial that Cosmopolitan refused to run. Telling women that they need to be nice, that men react to the way women act and, finally, her own story of changing to meet her husband's needs. All things that are fine if that is your life. It does not have to be the life of every woman, man, or person.

The demonization of women in today's society by nearly everyone truly misses the mark. If you are an alpha, beta, or omega female, it does not matter how you find love, how you keep love, if you want to change yourself. The world does not have the authority to tell you how to love.

Future husband, if you're reading this, I will not be your feminine counterpart, nor will I expect you to be the masculine piece in my life. I will be your equal in our relationship, not only that, but I understand that being masculine and feminine is an ebb and flow, back and forth that has no constraints. I will love you more than anything whether you're cheering on the Penguins or crying when the father dies in the movie About Time. That's what you do, you love the person you're with through it all.

"Society is creating a new crop of alpha women who are unable to love." Suzanne Vicker, author of "The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage: HOW LOVE WORKS."

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

14417
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
college

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

6271
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

4628
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Signs You Live At The Library As Told by 'Parks And Recreation'

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

4062
brown wooden book shelves with books

Finals week is upon us. It is a magical time of year during which college students everywhere flock to the library in attempt to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in only a week. For some students, it's their first time in the library all semester, maybe ever. Others have slaved away many nights under the fluorescent lights, and are slightly annoyed to find their study space being invaded by amateurs. While these newbies wander aimlessly around the first floor, hopelessly trying to find a table, the OGs of the library are already on the third floor long tables deep into their studies. Here is a few signs that you may live in the library, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments