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If You Saw The Real Me, Beyond What You See On The Outside

Misconceptions Are Monumentally Screwed

Maya Brown

Dec 12, 2017

College of Saint Elizabeth

If You Saw The Real Me, Beyond What You See On The Outside

Daryna Barykina

My appearance pleases

A painted mixture

Youth and Submissive

The lamb to your wolf

Your enjoyment of watching me

The hungry eyes of a lion

A hunter ready to claim its prey

You're fascinated

By my seeming intriguing meekness

The innocence in my eyes

You want to enter the garden

Where there are roses

The thorns will be sharp

Walking through

My mouth a tangy fruit

Words are the venom

Cringe and Crave

Don't be fooled by my appearance

Assumed ownership

Your Failed attempt

Taking my heart

A pursuit too good to be true

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Toilet Troubles

"So, usually I would never go on a Tinder date but when you are out with girlfriends and a hot Bosnian guy says he wants to hang with you and his friends, you oblige. We head to their apartment and when I realized I may pee my pants if I don't find a bathroom soon. I ask for the bathroom and a friend of my tinder date shows me to it and said in all seriousness that I was not allowed to flush the toilet under ANY circumstances. Having a few drinks--or five--I relieved myself to, nevertheless, flush the toilet. Within seconds, his bathroom was flooded and towels were laid out everywhere to catch the toilet water. To say the least, we were not invited back"

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If You Saw The Real Me, Beyond What You See On The Outside

Misconceptions Are Monumentally Screwed

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Helpful Advice to Get You Through the Semester

Schedule, Schedule, Schedule

Plan Time with Friends

Talk to Your Professors

Take Care of Yourself

How do You Eat an Elephant?

Keep an Eye on your School's Social Media or Calendar

Talk with your Adviser

Get Some Sleep

Talk with your Career Center

Eat Your Vegetables

Get Some Fresh Air

. Cringey Tinder stories from some Tinder girls

Toilet Troubles

Buckaroo

"Wing Woman"

The Overeager Matcher

Taco Bell Drive Thru

Coffin Factory

The Teacher's Assistant

The Relatable Date

Don't deny it.

They talk to you like you're one of the guys, but you will NEVER EVER be included in "Bro" things

Even though you've heard the words, "Not you, a real girl" more times than you can count.

You need to caption almost every picture with a disclaimer that you aren't dating...

But at the same time, you never know whether or not to be offended when they say they'd never date you...

And your other friends are constantly telling you you were destined to be with each other.

You'd get all the girls if you were a boy because you walk them through how to get girls almost daily...

That being said, you have an opinion on EVERY girl they show you, and you aren't afraid to share it...

But they have opinions too, and that's why they'll be the first to tell you when a guy isn't treating you right... and then they'll do exactly the same thing to some girl a few days later...

And if they do happen to have a girl in their lives, she most likely hates you, because you know him better than she ever will...

But even after all that, you wouldn't trade them for the world.

No, I actually don't pay for my friends.

1. "You pay for your friends."

2. "All you do is party."

3. "You guys all look the same."

4. "You don't actually care about your Philanthropy."

5. "Bigs and littles are stupid/annoying."

6. "I would never want to be a part of that."

7. "You're wasting your money."

We get it — we're frustrated with you, too.

1. When they go out of their way to help you.

2. When they are cleaning up a section of the store.

3. When they deal with your children being heathens.

4. When they listen intently to your coupon problems.

5. When they ask you about opening a credit card or rewards card.

6. When you have to wait to get an item number or to talk to a manager.

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