"It just takes some time. Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride. Everything, everything will be just fine." - Jimmy Eat World, The Middle
I know you probably feel worthless. Sick of it all? I understand you. I've been there. But if you think about it, why would you want to let your feelings control the rest of your life? This small bump in the road will mean absolutely nothing to you in a short amount of time.
Life is so precious. And YOU were chosen to be put on this earth and it wasn't for nothing. Make your mark. What are you passionate about? Think about that one thing that makes you happy and hold it in your hands. Look at it, and then craft it out. This is your reason to live. Improve your world.
People care about you. You parents, your cousins, your friends. Think about them. Think about how much they would hurt if you weren't there for another family get together or you weren't sitting at lunch with your friends in your normal spot. Your loved ones would be so devastated if you were gone. You are so loved and cared about. Someone in your life cares about you. You have impacted so many human beings throughout your whole life, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. It'll catch up and come back around to you, I promise. You are appreciated and looked up to.
It's okay to be sad. But try taking it out on something that isn't a decision to end your life. Write a poem, write a song, scribble on a piece of paper, draw, sing, do something to get your internal thoughts out there. If you let all of these feelings bottle up inside of you, the result isn't going to be good. Everything is just going to fall apart at once, kind of like an avalanche. Being stuck under an avalanche isn't fun or exciting. It's scary.
Remember the little things that make you happy. Your favorite song, your favorite pizza shop in the city, your favorite season. These are the things that you look forward to every day, but are just minor details of your life. It's little things like fresh air or flowers or the sun. Let the sun soak into your body on a Fall day and just breathe. Relax.
You are not alone. There are millions right beside you. I know that it might feel like you're the odd one out right now, but trust me, you are not. Many people have these thoughts or have mental illnesses, like depression, but we can't let these horrible diseases take our lives away from us. If you did kill yourself tonight, depression would win. Bipolar disorder would win. Schizophrenia would win. Whatever is causing you to feel this way, would win. We don't want them to win. We want them to go away back to the dark place they came from. Pain is always temporary.
One day, you will feel so happy. Happier than you ever thought you could have been before. You will experience new things and meet new people and live a fulfilled life. That's something you definitely don't want to miss out on.
Please stay alive tonight and every night. You are loved wholeheartedly.
