Before you climb down my throat, accuse me of "us" and "them" narrative, or tell me I'm over-simplifying the values of the GOP, pause.

Pause for just a moment and think about why I might be writing this.

It's not because I think you're bad or your political ideals are bad. Not necessarily. It's not because I think I can change your mind. That's not how it works.

It's because I think you've been bamboozled and you need to know. You, being a member of the GOP, or you, not being a member and hearing a narrative that doesn't match what's in their official documentation.

This article is not meant to accuse members of anything. It is meant to point out exclusion in the platform itself that seems to have been cleverly hidden.

While writing this article, I was very careful. Yes, this article has a bit of a (read: deep) sarcastic, satirical tone. As I am what one would generally call a bleeding heart liberal, take everything here with a grain of salt.

Really think about it, though. Yes, you will see my opinions and sass shine through, but none of the article is a result of my generalization. None of my points are drawn from my understanding of today's Republican Party. They are drawn directly from the 2016 Republican Party Platform.

Every referenced assertion can be found in that document. You can read it onlinehere. If you do not wish to read the entire document, you can use the CTRL+F function on your keyboard to jump to certain key words and phrases.

Not Included:

1. Women and Non--Cis (Trans, Nonbinary, etc.) Gender People

Note: "Cis" means a person matches the gender they were assigned at birth. "Trans" mean they have changed or wish to change this designation. "Nonbinary" means outside of the male/female masculine/feminine binary system.

Most of these groups I'm about to mention suffer from one of the 2016 Republican Party Platform's major guiding principles: that the Constitution is not flexible. Since it doesn't grant equality to the genders and it's the covenant text... sorry women and nonbinary folks. You're not included and you can't be, because that holy paper can't be messed with.

Nothing in it guarantees women equal pay, equal right to serve in the military, bodily autonomy or anything. Sure, the states may grant them those rights sometimes, but if they don't or a woman isn't in a position to take them for herself, she's out of luck. Only all "men" are created equally after all.

Unfortunately, the word "women" is only mentioned in the 2016 Platform 28 times, while the word "men" is mentioned almost 800 times. This is the document. Really. The document claims that families are the unit of America and only mentions women 28 times.

2. Cis Men

Yes, all of you are created equal and you're included in the "incredible men and women that make America great," but that doesn't mean you're getting the perks of equality with the Republican Party.

You can't be queer, but we'll get to that. That's a good chunk of you out of the equation. You also can't be a pacifist, because the Republican Party understands that we must "face and defeat the evils of the world." You're on the draft list whether you like it or not, so your freedom doesn't come free and doesn't afford you the opportunity to live peacefully when any party invents a war for you to fight in. You're not squeezing out babies, so you're far more expendable. Another thing we'll get to, though.

3. Any Human After Birth**

The platform calls for a free market economy. Now, the hypocrisy in the platform tells me the authors didn't actually know what that means.

In a free market economy there is no government control over business. There are no checks and balances on wealth, prices and the like. There are no regulations on businesses in terms of competition. Free market is totally free. As such, there would be a ton of starving mothers, babies, children and other people that make up the family unit getting stepped on by a totally uncontrolled economy. Why, you ask? Because the family that can afford the bread gets to eat. The family who can't doesn't get to eat it, even if they all work full time jobs.

Abortion is sinful and must be heavily restricted, but once you're born you're on your own. Good luck surviving in the free market economy.

**Bonus: If you are living with a terminal disease and suffer with immense pain, the Republican Party Platform thinks you should never have access to assisted suicide. If you've ever wanted that, you're not included.

4. Queer People

If you're queer and still a Republican, well... I'm sorry.

Your party literally despises the way you live your life and would like to outlaw it. Right on page 31 it says that marriage should be the union between a man and a woman. This is natural. You must also have kids. Natural, heterosexual marriage is the only thing that produces happy, healthy children.

I'm... not sure where they got their information because there are no citations, but I'm living proof of otherwise since my parents got a divorce and I'm doing just fine.

So if you're not a heterosexual, cisgender, capable of child bearing human, love and family are not for you and you have no place in contributing to America's greatness. At the very least, you'll never be as good as the straight child bearers, because they're the best. Infertile? I don't think you count as bad, but I can't say. Mixed messages, here.

5. Black People and People Of Non-White American Races (Psst, no, Middle Eastern folk do not count as white in this context)

So, I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that you're not included, even though they tried to make sure you were covered. The Platform insists that the GOP is the party of Abraham Lincoln and must oppose laws which discriminate on the basis of race. It's weird to me that the GOP thinks it's the same party as it was in the time of Lincoln, but... sure.

It then goes on to say that success should only be the result of hard work, so the platform doesn't support any initiatives to give minority races a leg up in society and help them get to the place where white people, with privilege, start.

So, yeah, you might be safe in theory, but your party doesn't understand what privilege is.

Again?

Your. Party. Doesn't. Know. What. Privilege. Is. It also doesn't want to help you combat it. That's a pretty big wall.

6. Immigrants

I think the party forgot the word "all" when they got to their views on immigration, so you're all unfortunately out of the picture, too. While mostly undermentioned in the document, your leading candidate wants to deport you and build a wall between you and us (if you happen to have been born in Mexico). Admittedly, the silence is more concerning. You aren't mentioned much in this paper even though you make up a huge part of the population... and even though our economy would literally fizzle and die without your contributions.

7. Almost Every Person With A Religion, Unless Christian**, And Atheists

The Republican Party believes in asking from divine help from the Christian God in order to direct the actions of government and society. So if you don't subscribe, you'll still have to deal with that and whatever divine help God throws their way...or that they claim God throws their way.

**Bonus: Unfortunately, Republicans aren't very Christ-like and don't suit the needs of many Christians, either. They don't give selflessly, and they don't love and support their neighbors unconditionally. I recently learned that according to the faith, Jesus first spread the news of his rebirth to two women in a time when a woman's testimony wasn't ever believed. According to the bible, Jesus identified women as a key component of the gospel, so the GOP is not really providing for Christian ideals.

If you're denominational, you're basically screwed.

8. People With Financial Struggles

Three words. Free. Market. Economy. I think revisions for clarity would really help this document out.

What's this? A bonus round?

Groups Supported By The Republican Party:

1. Fetuses

If you are a fetus, you are literally set. Your party wants to ban abortion in virtually every case and restrict it in every other case. The GOP prioritizes you over your mother's health. Just don't expect much when you come out. Your party is fighting so called "evils" (because they apparently have the moral power to do so) while also trying to create a free market economy.

2. Cis, White, Financially Stable Bro Types With At Least One Gun And No Concern For The Aforementioned Hated Groups, Who Are Willing to Join The Army, Who Don't Care About The Advancement Of Women And Minority Races And So On TM.

Do I need to explain? Look hard enough and even this bunch might find a loophole that sets them up for a bad time.