You don’t care.

You say you do.

But —

You don’t.

I just want you to care. I want you to care about me and everything that “we” stand for. I want you to be as invested in “us” as I am, putting in 110%, but I guess that is too much to ask for. It is too much to ask for an ounce of effort.

I don’t want to hear “I'll try harder” again. It is an abandoned promise left on rerun like a lie that started white and turned to a darker shade of grey, eventually turning black.

Your lies are my pain. Your excuses and toxic personality suffocate me. And even worse, you're proud of yourself for this mind game you play on me. Truth is, I don’t love you anymore. I don’t love living in this imaginary relationship where I am pulling all the weight. I am the kind of person who thinks of life like a glass that is half full instead of being half empty although you make me feel half empty inside. I used to love you and myself…it's sad that I don’t love either anymore.

In this relationship, I over think. I care and sometimes I am led to believe that I care too much. Over time, we have become polar opposites, but maybe we were unknown opposites from the beginning. You tell me everything is fine. Every time. You manipulate me into believing that you truly are okay, but you’re not. You make me believe that we are happy, but the only person you are kidding is yourself.

I don’t get motion sickness, but being on this roller coaster that you call your emotions is a never ending sickness, more like illness, that I can’t shake until I learn to shake you.