Happiness is said to be a journey and not a destination. When pondering your level of personal happiness --truly ask yourself “Am I Happy?” and before you blurt out “Of course!,”think about what happiness is. In a current online publication Acacia Parks, Ph.D Assistant Professor of Psychology at Hiram College wrote “ Current research suggested that happiness is a combination of how satisfied you are with your life (for example, finding meaning in your work) and how good you feel on a day-to-day basis.” However, there are several ways we can sabotage our happiness; and many times we are not even aware until we are plagued with self doubt.
- Basing your happiness on material assets.
In my teens going into my 20s, the living was mortgage and bill free. To pass time, I would order Tiffany jewls, Burberry bags and got my first BMW at 25. After each purchase, I would say “If I only had X--I would be happier.” I began to notice a grueling pattern: no matter what designer or asset I got my hands on, that “happiness” was short lived--because it was as superficial as I was becoming. I wanted that designer to prove a statement, a statement that “I can get it.” Yes, your Lexus is a nice shining armor of silver, and who does not like a nice Chanel bag valued at 8000 dollars--but is that happiness? No one keeps score of the shoes you wear or the car you drive. They keep score on the person you are. The stuff you have today can be gone in a blink of a bad business deal tomorrow or the loss of a job. With that being noted, the older I am becoming the more I am realizing I want to be rich in character, wealthy in strength, and lucrative in health. Nothing more.
2. Not leaving a company you hate
Dr. APJ Abdul Kalem said “Love your job but never fall in love with your company.” Love your job. If you love it, you will do it with all your heart. Sometimes it takes years to find that career you love and that is ok--because once you find your path, you are untouchable. However, use caution when it comes to your company. Your company can stop loving you at any given time. When that feeling occurs, take that risk and leave. Some other company out there would love to have you. Just because you do not fit in your current environment, does not mean you do not fit in your career
3. Comparing yourself to everyone on social media
There is a fine difference of someone’s photography instagram reel to everyday reality. Currently, I am seven pounds over my weight and looking at Khloe Kardashian wondering how she was able to lose all her weight. Suddenly it dawns on me: Kardashian just noted she hired a personal trainer who works with her twice a day and a chef. I am a school teacher who trains myself if I am lucky once a day for thirty minutes and cooks for myself. I am also not a career model in which my pay depends on my looks. Therefore, there can never be a comparison. The same way the mother who feels overwhelmed cannot compare herself as the mother who is posted her library time with her children. You do not know that personal mother’s struggle. This goes for the same girl who is upset all her friends are posting houses and babies or the teenager looking marvelously at her friend’s perfect hair cut. We all have our own journey and challenges. We are made to look like us. EMBRACE your imperfections
4. Inviting in toxic people
We are made unique. Each person brings a lesson to our lives, and sometimes that lesson is to show us what we do not want in a partner or friendship. Let them go. Let go of toxic even if toxic is a family member. If you have to chase a person, let go. If you have to watch your words with a person and walk on eggshells, let go. Eventually, the people who value who you are as a person will never leave.
5. Living in fear
Dry drowning, real drowning, ...all drowning in fact should not keep you away from the water, the same way job security should not keep you crippled at a company you despise with every inch of your soul or future financial happenings should not keep you from going on an adventure with your family. Practice precaution but let go of fear. Fear is a crippling emotion--and in no way leads to happiness.
One we let ourselves be who we are and embrace our flaws, personal growth and happiness can be achieved. It is a long journey but in no way a destination. To achieve this, constantly ask yourself “If I were to die tomorrow, would I be happy?” If the answer is “no” you are not happy...and you know it.
